too much confusion

Comrades,

It may just be me, but I'm fully befuddled over the internal plague borders - not to mention the borders within borders - that have come into effect since EOFY.

As far as can be ascertained, The Athens of the South, Victoria, Victorians, and anyone who has had anything to do with Victoria - ever - are now persona non grata. The gibbering premier of NSW, the Hon. Princess Ruby, has said of Victoria "just don't go there" and of Victorians "just don't come here". The fact that the joint is a hotbed of pestilence is beyond question, so it's best that we leave Dapper Dan to get on with belting the bandicoots over the head as they pop up out of the ground. Queensland won't have 'em, and South Australia won't have anyone. Nah, they have generations of experience at thumbing their noses and cocking their snoots at Victorians. What's more the Crow Eaters have taken great delight in fucking-up Melbourne footy, with whoever is left after all the sackings at AFL HQ pulling the hair out of their heads in great tufts and that becomes its own peculiar nightmare. Queensland remains leery, but under enormous pressure from the FNQ tourist trade, Beautiful One Day/Perfect The Next will welcome all - with not so open arms - later this month, except for the scabrous Victorians of course, who remain strictly banned until further notice.

No one has heard anything from across the Nullabor recently, as Western Australia is a law unto itself. Don't be surprised if the the long running secessionist movement in the Golden West makes a comeback. The way it is now, they could leave the Commonwealth and no one would even notice with the arse having fallen out of the mining boom - they're just too far away from civilisation anyway, and Perth is the most isolated capital city in the world. And they're very happy to stay that way. Northern Territorians are too busy getting on with the job of being alcoholics, letting off firecrackers, and going troppo to worry about a thing. The NT has always been a place for people wanting to hide or run away from something anyway. Not a single squeak has been heard out of Tasmania for weeks, but a closer look at their Govt. propaganda reveals that Tassy has no intention of letting anyone - not even Taswegians - back into the Apple Isle in the foreseeable future - if 'foreseeable' is even still a thing. There is no planned date for the island state to readmit anyone of any race, creed or colour in order to maintain their squeaky clean image. Nobody cares what the ACT is up to. In the famous words of DJ Trump! "it's a shithole".

Too much confusion. Federation is a wondrous thing, aint it?

The bumbling, stumbling New South Govt. has got mixed messaging down to such a fine art it should be put on display at the Art Gallery of New South Wales. Never mind pubs being able to admit as many drinkers as they goddamn like from today (as long as they stay away from each other) - getting on the frothing viral beer taps right now is both an act of faith and a cry for help. In my lengthy and comprehensive experience, achieving "drunken distancing" is no easy feat. But as of today up to 10,000 spectators are permitted to attend sporting fixtures in NSW, and yet 'outdoor social gatherings' are still limited to 20 persons. Really? WTF? What are the pointy heads thinking? Utterly pointless. In any case, anyone intending to go to the football this weekend in Sydney with those sorts of crowds are not only fools to themselves and a burden on the community - they're out of their cotton pickin' minds. But heck, the Honky Dollar still does the talkin' (for now), and the show must go on.

The fishwraps are also saying that "hundreds of people" arriving on international flights today will be diverted from Victoria to other parts (if anyone will have them). That only begs the question - who the screaming bejesus are all these wally's? Where have they been, what have they been doing, and why do they want to come back now, when everyone who was an expat or on-tour was told months ago that they must repatriate immediately? Do they just decide "oh shit, I'm bored over here now, so I think I'll go home"? I thought international travel was banned? I thought 98% of the planes had stopped flying? Do they come by boat? Beats me.
 
As far as the Miracle of Democracy goes - or even applies at the minute - well, it's very problematical. The border closures mentioned above are clearly in murky legal waters as, prima facie, as they prevent free trade between the states as the Founding Fathers intended. There was a tremendous brouhaha when they tried to close the VIC/NSW border during the 1919 Spanish Flu Pandemic, and they never succeeded. The relevant words from Section 92 of the Australian constitution read "customs, trade, commerce, and intercourse among the States, whether by means of internal carriage or ocean navigation, shall be absolutely free". There's no mumbo jumbo or mixed messaging there. Perfectly clear.
Gawd, save us.