shaking hands with politicians

Comrades,

It must've been a slow news day yesterday:

http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/jun/07/warning-that-shaking-hands-with-politicians-may-cause-outbreak-of-gastro-bug-norovirus

Everybody knows that if you shake hands with a politician you are most likely to want to shit your pants appallingly, and do a nice little vommie that splashes on their shoes, but jeesh, if I ever had the misfortune to run across PM Rich Dude, and he deigned to shake my hand, I'd probably get infected with something like the Zika virus, y'know, the one that killed Prince.

(originally published 08-06-16)