beer, cigs...up!

Comrades,

I threw a Budget party last night to celebrate the introduction of the magnificent Appropriation Bill (No.1), and nobody came.
That's despite the finest Champagne and caviar being in the offing.
I must mix with the wrong crowd.
I can't tell you just how delighted I am that the Govt is jacking up the price of cigars and DIY tobacco, while cracking down hard on the drunk, stoned, long-term unemployed.
That'll get the budget back in balance by 2021; sure-fire thing.
You don't know how many times I've seen a drug-fucked dole-bludger with a giant Cuban stogie hanging out of his mouth, weeping into his glass of Coonawarra shiraz in despair, crying out bitterly "Jesus, I just don't know where my next packet of rollies is coming from. Help me God, what I am going to do?"
Sad.

(originally published 10-05-17)