Surf's Up for the Ayatollah

Comrades,

You gotta love the recent triumphant world tour by DJ Trump! - sold out shows everywhere.
First he drops in to sort out those pesky Royals down Saudi Arabia way, promising to help them gang up on Iran and give those guys the complete and utter shits.
World class diplomacy.
[Iran, by the by, has just completed its own curious excercise in the Miracle of Democracy - but somehow, the race for the Presidency there always seems to be between a "conservative" and a "hard-line cleric", no-one else appears to get a look-in, while it's Surf's Up for the Ayatollah, every day, 365].
Then The Donald pops across the border to instantly solve the Middle East Peace Question, right there and then, once and for all, while doing some weird shit at the Wailing Wall in a funny hat - good look.
Not happy with that, DJ-T! drops by the Vatican to catch up with the Bishop of Rome to seek Absolution for all his Sins, and congratulating His "what do you feed him?" Holiness on a job well done.
Winner!
Mission accomplished?
No siree.
The Trumpotus then jets into Brussels to clean up that total mess of crapola that is the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, telling the other 27 Members that they better start coughing up for their own de-fence, as these nuclear farkin' weapons don't come cheap, boys, even on a fixed-price contract.
Have you seen the ridiculous cost of weapons-grade plutonium these days?
Then the Leader of the Free World caps off the tour by calling the Manchester bomber a "LOSER"...yep, that's right, a total loser.
What a statesman!
All in all, the whole roadshow could not have gone off any better...did you see the huge crowds of screaming fans at every show and all those autographs he signed?
Here's some highlights...The Donald hamming it up for the camera's as a Gypsy with a crystal ball!

Here's the man thoughtfully putting things right by looking for something one of his people had misplaced.

But wait, there's more...here's DJ Trump! with a beaming IL PAPA and the Two Black Brides of Christ!

Could go on, but, oh man, I'm exhausted.