Comrades,
The idea of them damned Ruskies bombing the living bejesus out of the US of A has been around for a very long time now.
The above diagram drawn and published in October 1953 shows how sneaky bombers could come out of Nowheresville in the Arctic and drop The Big One, and there would only be seven hours warning that American cities were about to be turned to cinders.
So it didn't really come as any surprise that My Mate Vlad went fully thermonuclear in his State of the Russian Federation address this week past.
Putin's annual speech before the party faithful is usually done in some ornate hall in the Kremlin and takes hours to get through, with all the stats on tractor production and state-sanctioned vodka quotas etc etc et al, but not this time.
Oh no.
He needed a large conference centre with all the latest audio-visual equipment to show off the capabilities of the SR-28 Sarmat Super Heavy, which is code named "Satan" in NATO military intelligence circles.
Now this is one helluva muthfukka - if you believe all the hype and bluffing - as it's apparently able to carry a payload of up to 200 tonnes to any square inch on the face of this earth without being detected by any up-to-date modern defence technology.
So the thing would be on you before you knew it.
Bang!
It might even have Fractional Orbital Bombardment capabilities, in plain and simple terms, the monster could, in theory, get up into a low-earth orbit, then drop out of orbit, and deliver it's payload, and could even come at the Americans from the South Fuckin' Pole.
That of course that would be in contravention of SALT II [Strategic Arms Limitations Treaty, 1979], which explicitly bans ballistic missiles that can go the FOB.
That said, 200 tonnes is astonishing for a single rocket, and of course would translate into many many many megatons of thermonuclear weaponry spread over whatever territory you like.
As foreshadowed on this bloggy-blog-blog a while back, the Yanks have long suspected the Ruskies have been flouting with the 30-year-old Intermediate Range Nuclear Forces Treaty [INF] which effectively bans the use or development of any nuclear missile that travels between 500 and 5,500 kilometres.
Suspect no more, complete with a whiz-bang slide-show, the Great and Glorious Russian Leader has come out and positively flaunted his capability of entirely ignoring the treaty, as the Sarmat Heavy can puportedly go anywhere on the planet, and he was also talking up all sorts of new cruise missiles and "underwater drones" [read: torpedo's] in development that are all capable of carrying The Bomb.
Of course the show of force is all about Vlad facing "re-election" for the Presidency in the Russian's own curious version of the Miracle of Democracy, as by all reports - with no real opposition candidates - he's having tons of trouble getting out the vote.
He really needs to whip up some patriotic fervor before the first-round [and very likely only] poll on March 18.
The only way the Russians can express their displeasure at the way the country is being run is by not turning up at the polls, but even then, non-attendance would be most likely noted by the Secret Police, especially if it was known that you had been trash-talking The Pres. over yr own dinner table.
Putin, who of course is an old KGB hand, desperately needs a decent sized turn-out to legitimise his own despotism
If you didn't believe me that a new nuclear arms race is now well and truly on, doubt no more that "a hard rain's gonna fall" when the Nuclear Winter arrives to finish us off.
Of course, DJ Trump! has no idea how to respond this blatant talking up of The Big One, other than some vague promise to build a Bigger and Better and more Beautiful Big Nuclear Button on the Oval Office desk.
In the meantime - blinked and you would have missed it on most western news services - in the wake of the frozen Winter Olympics in PyeongChang, dignitaries and envoys from South Korea have in the past few days nipped across the Korean DMZ and lobbed in Pyongyang for a bit of face-to-face chit-chat with Fatboy Kim himself.
Nothing much has come out about exactly what was discussed - but you can be sure it wasn't just the time of day - apart from Fatboy viewing favourably the possibility of President Moon of the South making an official State Visit to the North at a date to be fixed.
The sticking point, of course, will be the South Korean pre-condition that the North announce a permanent suspension of all nuclear weapons testing, before such a tour could go ahead.
If they pull that off, then they could really get down to tin tacks
If nothing else, it shows that the Fat Boy is at least willing and able to come to the negotiating table, and he's even mouthed some platitudes about going down in the little history books as the man who led the Great Reunification of Korea and achieved lasting peace on peninsular.
In your dreams, says the US State Dept, and I just can't see it happening anytime soon [i.e. in my lifetime].
But you never can tell when international diplomacy comes into play and people at least make a facade of being sensible.
And again, it comes as no surprise that the Trumpotus has no idea how to deal with such rapprochement, while he's busy kicking off a global trade war after slapping tariffs on foreign steel and aluminum.
The Europeans find the move so laughable that they have threatened to go tit-for-tat in the isolationist tariff caper, and make Levi jeans and all kinds of Bourbon & Tennessee Whisky [you know, Mr. Jim Beam and Mr. Jack Daniels] completely unaffordable across the entire European Union.
So there.
If you don't cack yrself, you'd cry.
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