a 100% pickled British turnip

Comrades,

Hasn't the Miracle of Democracy been on wheels this week?

Never mind the Papal Election that is the British Conservative Party tortuously trying to appoint a new Prime Minister by balloting the shit out of each other, with vote after vote after vote, until there is just one man left standing. And it will be a man, as Teflon Tessa has had her day. Just when will there be white smoke from the chimney? How they must envy our Tories, where all it takes in a party room "spill" and the PM can be dead meat with a knife in the back literally overnight. None of this dragging it out over weeks and months. It's really neither here nor there anyway, given everyone knows Big Bad Bonkers Boris; a man best known for his outstanding buffoonery with a first rate penchant for gaffe making, will become leader on the Queen's commission. Everybody knows. There's not much irony in the fact that the Poms will be dragged out of Europe kicking and screaming whether they like it or not by a bloke who was once described as "Britain's worst ever Foreign Minister" [and there have been a few], a dodgy former Lord Mayor of London, and a dead-set ridgey-didge dinky-dye pickled British Turnip. 100% British. He is not ageing well and at 55 his current appearance worries me. His pasty complexion and faintly disgusted expression makes Boris look like he perpetually wants to vomit, and his general demeanour gives the impression of some kind of dishevelled deviant. So, no irony at all that he's got the vote.

Never mind that the Minister for the Home Office back here in the Colonies has chucked a tanty, calling a Federal Court judgement stupid. It drives him mad. Dutto described the legislation that was allegedly snuck in by stealth under the cover of darkness to provide for the medical evacuation of sick people in our refugee camps to mainland hospitals as "Labor's law, and it needs to be fixed". You bewdy, win the election, and if you don't like the law, just change it. By-pass the High Court altogether. Brilliant! Nice one your Honourable Mr Penis Head, but try getting that one past the Senate in a hurry. There will always be a Senator for Tasmania who'll be the stick in the mud. Aren't there other things that need a hurry up and a fixin' before "quantitative easing" kicks in as it all goes to hell in a hand-basket? Arrogance incarnate from the bald-faced right wing extremist.

And never mind Chairman Ping of China turning up in Pyongyang for a chin-wag with Fat Boy Kim, scheming over some fine French wine and Cuban cigars. A couple of world class gold standard despots - not seeing much interest in democracy there. Just have a lookie at what's been going down in Honkers lately. You know what Marxists are like.

No, no, the real action is on the campaign trail, with DJ Trump! officially announcing mid-week that he's gonna make another run for the White House. This presents difficulties for the Democrats. The incumbent always has the distinct advantage of incumbency, and The Donald doesn't need to go through the tedious, endless rounds of Primaries to get the nomination again. The Republicans have got one bullet in the chamber, but beyond that, they've got nothing, and they know it. The Trumpotus can now leave the running of the country to his inept cronies, and get on-message full time, has he did in his opening loud mouthed gibberish to another Rent-A-Crowd, with more of the same...yep - more hate, more vitriol, more lies, more threats, more revenge, etc etc et al. The ageing mobster knows it's a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll in America, kicking off a thousand day campaign all the way through to Melbourne Cup day Tuesday the 3rd of November next year. That's like the Long March - where only toughest survived - and they say a week is a long time in politics? The Democrats are stuck in a ménage à trois of old people; "that agrarian socialist from the backlots of Vermont", "a fake Red Indian", and Uncle Joe, who's only making a run because his son, on his deathbed, told him that he must. While only a case a day of Diet Cokes and fistfuls of powerful pharmaceuticals keeps the 73-year-old Trumpotus going, Bernie Sanders is 77, Joe Biden is 76, and Liz Warren - a real summer baby - turns 70 tomorrow, but I rate her as the underdog. She could very well loom up as the dark horse. But that, it seems, is all they've got. While the Yoof of Today are represented in the over-stuffed field of Democrat candidates, they all know they haven't got a snowflakes. Not much hope for the Land of The Free then, when all the main contenders will be long dead by the short time it will take before the planet is fully cooked.

With a psychopath looking to extend his stay in the Oval Office to eight years, here's betting there'd be some burghers in the Grand Old Party who pine nostalgically for simpler, more innocent days...