the global battle against The Fear of Covfefe

Comrades,

In these interesting times of confused mixed messaging it's hard to know whether a "lock in" or a "lock out" policy is in force at the minute. Never mind self isolation or social distancing, there is no time like the present to build a wall. Keeps the perilous plague-ridden yellow hordes out, and keeps the terrified, panicked local population in. In any case, it stops people from running around like chooks with their heads cut off. It's a win-win situation for everyone.

So, when the going gets tough, the tough get wiping; sanitising with the ever reliable Pine O Cleen (kills 99.9% of all germs) is a given...as everyone knows, all trace of turd must be expunged in the first instance. And here's the ideal equipment, worth it's weight in 24-carat rolled gold.

(Rough translation on the DJ Trump! quote bubble: "this is the wall you are going to pay for")

It didn't take long for the arse wipe industry to ramp up production to meet the stratospheric demand, so it's now very comforting to know that the Trumpotus is also ordering in some extra supplies in the global battle against The Fear of Covfefe...God knows, we all need some medical elements in our lives right now, don't we?

and that's even before the very likely event that the White House will be officially declared a hotbed of hideous diseases, and The Donald takes off on yet another 17 day "working lock-down vacation" at the heavily disinfected Trump National Bedminister, New Jersey, where they say it's nice at this time of year and a quite lovely round of spring time golf is in the offing.

And if worse turns to catastrophe, then there's nothing for else for it but to sit back and await your fate, while you pack up your troubles in your old kit bag (and smile, smile, smile) as you suck on one of these quart bottles of The Cure.

Good night, and good luck