dirty little secrets

 

Comrades,

For what it's worth, that's what you get for hiding dirty little secrets.

For those of us who spent years of our professional lives as hacks masquerading as journalists covering the myriad proceedings of the Independent Commission Against Corruption, The Royal Commission into Police Corruption, Coroner's Inquests and any number of other judicial probes - like I did - there was always one over-arching mantra that used to come up whenever a juicy witness faced the prospect of being compelled to climb into the witness box..."If you are ever called to give evidence at a Royal Commission, be afraid, be very afraid". Gladys Berejiklian's first appearance at the ICAC last year really surprised me - not that she was there, but that she survived politically. Let's face it - any male politician who was found at an inquiry to have an obviously as corrupt-as-fuck secret lover would have been a dead man walking; straight out the back door, booted off the patio and flat on his arse. But the Ruby Princess's excuse of "I stuffed up" appeared to be all she needed to say to stay on as the Big Kahuna. Until now.

I can tell you from long experience that the ICAC does not go on fishing expeditions, because they don't have to - they have all the investigative and coercive powers of a Royal Commission, and they use them. And they do not go you until they are absolutely certain that they've got something on you. Going by history, when politicians of all stripes became the target of an ICAC investigation, they would just step aside from any senior roles/bloated stipends they may have had until the final findings were handed down, and Bob's your uncle. So, for Gladys to quit the top job, and hightail it straight out of Parliament altogether must mean that she knows they've got a "gotcha moment". She is not exactly crowing that she is innocent, after insisting for the last 12 months that "my personal conduct is not a focus of the ICAC". Er, sorry mate, but it is - and you've been fooling yourself if you didn't think so. For God's sake, everybody already knows that ICAC had been bugging your personal phone (and probably your house), so why would you assume that that stopped just because "I stuffed up"? It didn't. And why would she keep her secret lover secret in the first place if she was confident her own conduct had been all above board. That always had a pretty wiffy aroma about it from the off, and ICAC wasn't fooled. If it became common knowledge before the corruption allegations against Mr Maguire emerged, people would have thought "oh, the Premier's got a brand new boyfriend, good for her, move along". And oh, if the tabloid press are right, her current lover is no less than her personal lawyer, Arthur Moses SC, who represented her at ICAC last year, for crying out loud. You'd better drop her like a hot potato, Arfur.

People who hate rigourous watchdogs keep trotting out those really tired old lines that the ICAC is a "Star Chamber", a "Kangaroo Court" and the Inbred Tomato came up with a real doozy, likening it to the "Spanish Inquisition" - well I'm sorry folks, but that's exactly what it is - it's all those things and it's meant to be. The hallowed Rules of Evidence in a court of law do not apply at ICAC public hearings, the burden of proof is always "the balance of probabilities" and QC's acting as Counsel Assisting are there for the express purpose of tying you up in sado-masochistic knots in the witness box. And it's not as if any of this is at all new or novel - the ICAC has a long and proud history of destroying corrupt politicians' careers. And it don't matter what side of the aisle you sit on. The word "independent" means plenty here. Former Labor Party powerbrokers Eddie Obeid and Ian McDonald both know this of course, much to their chagrin, having done serious time down at Long Bay after some polite inquiries by the ICAC - and Eddie's just about to do some more behind bars. Jesus, Mary & Joseph, folks are still looking for that Grange that former Liberal Premier Fatty O'Farrell (still on the gravy train as the Australian High Commissioner to India) swears black & blue that he can't recall ever drinking. Might have seen the bottle in question at some stage in proceedings, y'know, yr Honour, the Penfolds reputation and all that, but never saw it open and if a drop of it ever passed Fatty's lips then it must have been a very forgettable vintage or a corked bottle. It doesn't matter a jot to the ICAC whether the corruption involves many millions of dollars or is miserably petty, it's still dirty work. Back in the day, Labor MP and former rugby league player Paul Gibson was the gift that kept on giving for us reporters, accused by a well known Kings Cross crim, Louis Bayeh, of taking all sorts of bribes and kickbacks and gladly accepting a free all-expenses-payed über-luxe Fiji holiday with his secret lover (a fact also unknown at the time) - a former sports minister. Turns out Bayeh, who's done long yards in the jailhouse, was bullshitting, but Gibbo did go to the South Pacific unbeknownst to his wife or children, and according to the ICAC Commissioner at the time "I find myself utterly unable to have any confidence whatsoever in the truth or reliability of anything said by Gibson when it conflicts with the evidence of any other witness, other than Bayeh."

ICAC has no fear nor favour of or for anyone, they work on the "how long is a piece of string" principle, and will pursue corrupt servants of the State for as long as it takes. And what a shocker of the Ruby Princess to say that the announcement of an ICAC public hearing into her conduct "could not have come at a worse time". Your are dead wrong there Gladys, it could not have come at a better time...it just goes to show that no matter what shitshow might be going on around them, the ICAC is still there toiling away at their vitally important and essential work. Plainly, corruption is the number one killer of The Miracle of Democracy. So, it doesn't take a Rhodes Scholar to work out why ScoMo and his ragbag mob of reprobates and recalcitrants are scared shitless by the prospect of an anti-corruption body with teeth coming to Canberra. Or why the Tory Govt. in South Australia has just stripped the ICAC there of its powers to investigate politicians. I won't even mention the name of the outgoing self-exiled leader of the NSW Country Party, Pork Barrellaro, as he's very litigious.

The rise of a 39-year-old hard-right God Botherer to the Premiership of NSW is for another time, but suffice to say it's a self-fulfilling prophecy for those 'moderates' within the Liberal Party who have been warning for years now that the party is in real and present danger of being taken over by evangelical extremists.

Be afraid, very afraid.