the global battle against The Fear of Covfefe

Comrades,

In these interesting times of confused mixed messaging it's hard to know whether a "lock in" or a "lock out" policy is in force at the minute. Never mind self isolation or social distancing, there is no time like the present to build a wall. Keeps the perilous plague-ridden yellow hordes out, and keeps the terrified, panicked local population in. In any case, it stops people from running around like chooks with their heads cut off. It's a win-win situation for everyone.

So, when the going gets tough, the tough get wiping; sanitising with the ever reliable Pine O Cleen (kills 99.9% of all germs) is a given...as everyone knows, all trace of turd must be expunged in the first instance. And here's the ideal equipment, worth it's weight in 24-carat rolled gold.

(Rough translation on the DJ Trump! quote bubble: "this is the wall you are going to pay for")

It didn't take long for the arse wipe industry to ramp up production to meet the stratospheric demand, so it's now very comforting to know that the Trumpotus is also ordering in some extra supplies in the global battle against The Fear of Covfefe...God knows, we all need some medical elements in our lives right now, don't we?

and that's even before the very likely event that the White House will be officially declared a hotbed of hideous diseases, and The Donald takes off on yet another 17 day "working lock-down vacation" at the heavily disinfected Trump National Bedminister, New Jersey, where they say it's nice at this time of year and a quite lovely round of spring time golf is in the offing.

And if worse turns to catastrophe, then there's nothing for else for it but to sit back and await your fate, while you pack up your troubles in your old kit bag (and smile, smile, smile) as you suck on one of these quart bottles of The Cure.

Good night, and good luck

the sinking of the General Belgrano

Comrades,

The first time I ever wandered into a commercial radio newsroom in 1982, there it was. A telex machine with a continuous roll of paper constantly chuttering out of the thing, and then folding itself - flip flop flip flop - into a neat pile on the floor. It was the AAP news wire. It was the middle of the night, and I was pulling the weekend graveyard shift in my first real job as a DJ, presenting the popular Country Music Hour from midnight-1am, then five tracks in a row of easy listening interspersed with ads, then a station ID and a time call, repeat until dawn. You could walk away from the microphone for 20 minutes at the time and the station would play by itself after you'd set up the tape cartridge machines to trip themselves off. I soon worked out how to read the wire - in it's grey coloured Courier New font - rip the paper off for the latest news, then pick it up like a scroll, and sift through the dross until you find what you want. And believe me, there was so much dross. How many reams of paper that telex machine used every day is anyone's guess, but it was plenty.

The AAP wire was the news. The be all and end all. And it was endless. The telex never stopped, ever, even when there was no news. It was the rock solid foundation of every news bulletin I ever read for the next 19 years.

A few months after I started, the Falklands War blew up and as it was on the other side of world, it happened overnight on our island. Listeners demanded to know what the fuck was going on. The AAP wire delivered. It also carried the Associated Press, Reuters, and Agence-France Presse wires, so it was calling all the shots as the battle went on, and it was full of it. Mobile phones, let alone lap tops or an internet of things were fantastical dreams of science fiction, still. So it was no get stretch to start off reading mid-dawn rip'n'read news bulletins on the hour every hour, using AAP copy as it was. I had zero training in this, so not a red pencil went through it. The sinking of the General Belgrano in May was big news, if memory serves - Exocet missiles were all the rage back then - and month later it was all over as the Poms liberated a tiny bunch of sheep farmers in Stanley. But I continued to plough on with the rip'n'read service as I'd got the bug. Just threw together overseas news as it happened on the AAP wire. The breakfast news team loved me for sorting the wheat from the chaff. In down town Medellin, rival drug lords were quietly setting off car bombs in the car park's of the opposition's supermarkets, where they laundered their money. Nice way to scare off customers. Good old fashioned terrorism made for good news copy back then, and they slaughtered hundreds of innocents. From that point on I was hooked on news and never looked back.

The AAP wire was always the go to for "breaking news". I vividly recall sitting at the slot in the 2UE newsroom in Sydney on a very slow news day - Sunday 28 April 1996 - when the AAP wire chattered through a single line "Tasmanian ambulance service report responding to shooting near Hobart. Possible casualties. Unconfirmed. More..." That turned out to be a day and half as the world as we knew it exploded, but without the AAP wire, we would never have known, and neither would you. They seemed to have freelance reporters called "stringers" everywhere, and indeed they had. When I found myself working as an on-the-road reporter for the best part of a decade, anywhere anything was happening, you would always run into an AAP reporter; the only one holding a microphone without any signage on it. In Canberra, AAP had the minutiae of politics nailed down flat, with the sole reporter snoozing through late night sitting sessions. No one would have noticed the Independent member for Oxley, Pauline Hanson, making her maiden speech to an empty chamber, also in '96, if it wasn't for AAP. One year I covered a Federal budget. Afterwards lobby groups of every description line up to have their say into a phalanx on microphones, but time was of the essence. The AAP reporter sat on the floor with a stop watch, and after 30 seconds called "Time!", and that spokesman for whatever organisation was hustled out the way mid-sentence by another reporter from AAP to make way for the next. If you didn't have your sound bite ready, you were gone.

The AAP wire didn't come cheap but it was worth it's weight in gold, and many times it was out there in platinum territory. When I fell into a job running a little newsroom in Newcastle broadcasting integrated local/state/national news bulletins, the station owner was always onto me about the cost of the wire; 25 grand in '92 would have easily employed another journo. "Do you really need that fucking telex machine, Craven? You know the newsroom is the only department in this radio station that doesn't bring a penny in through the front door!". "Of course I need the fucking wire, without the wire, there is no news, none, we don't go to air, OK? Now go away". He did. Only ever worried by money, he couldn't be bothered with "editorial interference". AAP was an institution that commanded great respect in the trade as a straight down the line no nonsense scrupulously by the book reporter of accurate news. They only dealt in the truth - here's what happened - you make head or tail of it. Delivered to your plate, it was up to you to decide what tasted the best in that fuzzy but at the same time precise umami known as "news value". It was only ever rarely wrong, and corrections were always issued post-haste. The one, and most times the only constant in the bustle and churn of an ol' style newsroom. You know, when Olivetti typewriters were the tool of trade. Surely I can't be so old as to remember such a thing?

The AAP wire loomed very large in my working life, so it was deeply saddening to hear yesterday that facing insurmountable competition from the ramshackle make it up as we go along Google/Facebook fake news peddling duopoly, they are going to close - with 180 journo's to be thrown out onto the ever increasing pile on the scrap heap, as well as a back office of 120. To say it's the end of an era understates it. As an old hack and "blowie", it was like hearing of the death of a long lost former loved one. Things change, nothing ever remains the same, but there's a big chunk of decades of me making a living out the game right there, now forever consigned to the lil' history books.

After 85 years, it's finally the end of real news, as I came to know and love it. End of an epoch more likely.

you do the math

Comrades,

While I've been sidelined for a bit, news has been filtering through from Stateside that the President of the United States is on the rampage as campaigning starts to heat up in earnest for the first Tuesday after the first Monday
in November. He doesn't believe it when Mrs "I pray for you" Pelosi barks "Once impeached, always impeached!". [Just ask Uncle Bill Clinton, he'll tell ya]. It matters diddly-squat in Universe Donald. Acquitted in a charade of
a Senate trial over the Ukrainian brou-ha-ha where no witnesses were called and no evidence was adduced before a decidedly disinterested Chief Justice of the Supreme Court who was eager to do his level best to do
nothing. Got off Scot free along partisan lines, thanks to the good ol' Grand Old Party. Just what the Founding Father's would have envisaged as they put quill to parchment and scribbled out the hallowed Constitution.

Don't you know if you've ever seen Daniel Day-Lewis doing a star turn in the motion picture Lincoln (described by one critic as 'a very good movie about voting' - which it is), but in the entire 150 minute fillum, the Lincoln character only raises his voice once, as he thumps a fist on a table and says "The President of the United States has tremendous powers! And I intend to use them!" Aint that the truth?

The Donald has taken that advice on board big time since his acquittal, announcing to the world that he is now "America's Chief Law Enforcement Officer". It's like saying "The Law? What Law? I am The Law!" Despots love that sort of trash talking to bits. And dictators also have a penchant for getting rid of anyone who has ever gone after them - which is exactly what the Trumpotus has done, firing anyone and everyone in the Justice Dept. who's ever had anything remotely to do with the "Russian Hoax Investigation", or just making their positions untenable, which ever is easier. Never mind his Attorney General saying one thing when he means another and quietly stacking the lower Federal Courts with ultra-conservative reactionary judges, once that's out the way, then you can go about using the unfettered Presidential power of pardoning and commuting the jail sentences of your criminal mob mates, and various other lackey's, crony's, toadies, suckjobs, arse lickers, parasites, grovelling hangers-on, apparatchiks and running dogs who've found themselves on the wrong side of the scales of justice for simply doing The Donald an honest favour. It seems he was told it would be good grace to also pardon some hard-done-by common or garden criminals just for balance and appearances. For Gawd' sake. How miserable does it get?

But never mind any of this currying of favours - DJ!'s use of the tremendous powers of the Presidency is no more apparent than when it comes to Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail. Take for example, the brilliant campaign stunt he pulled off at the Daytona 500 NASCAR race. Staged at the Daytona International Speedway (seated spectator capacity 101,000) at beautiful Daytona Beach, Florida, it's America's biggest motor race outside the Indy 500. The Trumpotus thought it might be a good idea to drop on by, given that Florida has a long and tortured history as an electoral battle ground state with dodgy one-armed bandits counting the votes (just ask Al Gore - he'll tell ya). Of course, DJ! has zero interest in motor racing, but he knew full well his audience would be on the redneck side in a goodly majority. So, here's how the brief visit trackside unfolded. The Presidential plane - the highly modified and mighty Boeing 747-200 Jumbo - did a low level pass over the speedway, before Air Force One arced into a sweeping loop and landed at the Daytona International Airport, which just so happens to be right next door to the race track. As the The US Air Force Thunderbirds did an aerobatic display in their super-charged F-16's, the Trumpotus was couched into the waiting Presidential Limousine, which soon enough appeared on the circuit itself, doing a full lap of the 2.5 mile race track, followed by his entire entourage of Secret Service vehicles. Some of the crowd, according to the Reuters report, started chanting "four more years! for more years!". The Limmo then stopped at the podium, the Donald with the shy and retiring First Lady clambered out and mounted the dais. The Trumpotus then "briefly addressed the crowd" before, in his role as Grand Marshall, said the time-honoured words: "Gentlemen, start your engines". (There are currently no lady drivers in NASCAR). The race cars then lined up behind the Presidential armoured vehicle known as "The Beast" and they all did another lap, before the Limmo pulled off and exited the speedway taking the creaking buffoon's carcass with it. Now, you can only do that if you're the President. Scotty from Marketing would be having wet dreams about it. The race cars then did yet another parade lap, and finally, they were off and racing! However, after 20 laps, it started raining heavily and the race stopped. Oh no! (it's not possible to drive at speed on wet, banked, oval tracks). As the glorious Florida weather set in, the race was postponed, and it was then run and won the next day, Monday. Never mind. Or call it an omen, if you want, but it's probably too soon to get out the crystal ball.

Forever the showman and carnival spruiker, The Donald might be as dumb as a fucktard, but he's not stupid - he knows how to campaign - had plenty of practice back in '16 he did, and the rules are very simple. Appeal to the lower appetites and the baser instincts and always, always, back the horse called called Self Interest, because that's the only thing 95% of the American electorate is interested in. And after all, this bizzare Yankee self-boosterist par excellence has always relied, as it was neatly put mid-week by the Associated Press, on "the audacity of hype". Never mind the Donald's posse of Masters of the Dark Arts busily rigging the Electoral College once again, or them damned Ruskies already having their grubby little fingers in the campaign, with their army of bots currently flooding yr Soshul Meejah promoting the living bejesus out of the now front-running Democrat candidate Senator Sanders better than his own campaign does. Just doing The Donald an honest favour. Vlad the Impaler down in the Kremlin knows full well that an ageing self-confessed Agrarian Socialist from rural Vermont who runs on campaign slogans like "Not Me. Us" and "The Real Revolution Starts Here" has two chances of beating the Trumpotus in a general election - none and Buckley's, you might think. Who knows? But as Daytona showed, it's why the tremendous value of incumbency is beyond pure gold and into platinum territory in the American Miracle of Democracy. There have only been three one-term Presidents since the Great Depression, and just six in the 130 years before then. You do the math.

Photo's courtesy the Associated Press.

exploding fireball

Comrades,

While everything is Peachy in DC, the rest of the world thinks the entire continent of Australia is an exploding fireball.

Never mind the ins-and-outs of the above, or the brouhaha over blatant high-level Federal-style corruption and/or world class Pork Barrelling - depending on your brand of spin - perhaps it's best not to waste a thousand words and just sum up current proceedings in The Miracle of Democracy in a few plain speakin' dank memes...

CRAZY CRAVES TOP 130 OBITUARIES 2019

It's that time of year again, folks. While not exactly within the bailiwick of this blog, at least 16 politicians and eleven other dudes somehow mixed up in the Miracle of Democracy called stumps and gave the game away in 2019.

I've got absolutely no idea where my long standing obsession with obituaries comes from. I've always imagined the ideal Saturday morning as a quick flip through the papers and "a slow read of the obituaries with a glass of cheeky Chablis". Suppose taking a passing interest in the twig droppers is just one way to pace out the ruthless, relentless march of time. I've been doing these nostalgic lists of deadun's for far too long now - and even after some judicious editing - they're now also getting ridiculously long. My tribute to those who have permanently left the departure lounge continues to balloon out - but who can you omit from of this eclectic, idiosyncratic bunch of clock punchers? The only criteria is that those listed as no longer with us may or may not have been famous, may or may not have led interesting lives in interesting times, or the manner and cause of death may or may not have been somewhat unusual. So there's a big range of those who have fallen from their perches, from some very ordinary types to out and out crack-pots and whack-jobs, and three animals and even an inanimate object also get a guernsey this year. And there's been something of a changing of the guard at the end of the decade, with a seeming preponderance of some really old snoozers who've shuffled off this mortal coil, including no less than ten centenarians, and three who fell a year short of triple figures before finally pegging out.

Having personally come face to face with the Sausage Creature more than once and still wondering if I'm immortal, obviously I don't subscribe to the latter part of John Donne's sentiment from Meditation XVII of 1623:

"Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

So, just sit back and relax with a cheeky...


CRAZY CRAVES TOP 130 OBITUARIES 2019


† JANUARY †

George, c.14, January 1, Honolulu, Hawai'i. Last known surviving specimen of the land snail species achatinella apexfulva, endemic to the Hawaiian islands, now believed extinct. Died in captivity. Extreme old age.

Mungau Dain, 27, January 4, Port Vila, Vanuatu. ni-Vanuatu movie actor. Played lead role in Australian produced local language feature film Tanna [2015]. Known as "the Brad Pitt of Vanuatu". Sepsis due to untreated leg infection.

Annalise Braakensiek, 46, January 6, Sydney. Australian fashion model, "Instagram influencer, wellness guru, and vegan cook". Ambassador for RU-OK suicide prevention organisation. Suicide.

Jimmy Hannan, 84, January 7, Bellingen, New South Wales. Australian television legend of the 1960's and 70's, entertainer, comedian, singer. Appeared on In Melbourne Tonight and then his own shows Tonight with Jimmy Hannan and Saturday Date. Retired to the countryside at 50. Short cancer-related illness.

Babs Simpson, 105, January 7, Rye, New Jersey. American journalist and art collector. Fashion editor for Vogue magazine [1947-68]. Long time collaborator with photographer Irving Penn. Renowned for having "a chic all her own". Extreme old age.

Carol Channing, 97, January 15, Rancho Mirage, California. American actress, singer, dancer and Broadway musical theatre legend. First came to prominence in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes [1949] and cemented her Hollywood stardom in Hello Dolly! [1964]. Continued performing until the age of 93. Complications of stroke.

Masazo Nonaka,113, January 20, Ashoro, Japan. World's oldest man to that date. Outlived all seven siblings, his wife and three of their five children. Credited longevity to eating sweet things, watching sumo wrestling on TV and bathing daily in hot mineral springs. Extreme old age.

Michel Legrand, 86, January 26, Paris. French film composer, arranger and jazz pianist. Wrote more than 200 film and television scores. Three times Academy Award winner. Died a week ahead of scheduled series of jazz concerts in Japan. Sepsis due to viral respiratory infection.

† FEBRUARY †

Albert Finney, 82, February 8, London. British stage, film, and television actor. Leading figure in British 1960's "new wave" cinema, and later a Hollywood heart-throb. Five Oscar nominations in illustrious career, never won. Refused both a CBE [1980] and a Knighthood [2000]. Declined to write a biography, and shunned fame. Kidney cancer.

Betty Ballantine, 99, February 12, Bearsville, New York. American literary editor and publisher. Along with husband Ian, created the first mass-circulation "paperback" at Penguin Books in New York [1939], selling millions of literary classics at 25c each. The first promoter of science fiction as a mainstream genre with Bantam and Ballantine Books. Extreme old age.

Leonard Casley, aka His Royal Highness Prince Leonard I of Hutt, 93, February 13, Geraldton, Western Australia. Australian eccentric, wheat farmer, shyster, shonk, raconteur, pretender, self-styled prince, and notorious vexatious litigant. Suceeded his 75 sq km property at Hutt River from the state of Western Australia in dispute over wheat quotas [1970]. Briefly declared war on Australia [1977] in a long running tax dispute, before declaring unilateral sovereign independence as a principality under absolute monarchy. Abdicated in favour of 61-year-old youngest son Prince Graeme [2017]. Recognised by no-one. Died owing the Australian Tax Office three million dollars. Complications of emphysema.

Karl Lagerfeld, 85, February 19, Paris. Flamboyant German-born French fashion designer. Creative director of fashion house Chanel for 37 years until his death. Claimed his controversial persona was a sham, and bequeathed his considerable fortune to his two cats. Pancreatic cancer.

Michael Murphy, 66, February 21, Sydney. Australian criminal. Sentenced to life without parole along with five others including his two brothers for the rape and murder of Anita Cobby in 1986. Died in jail. Cancer related illness.

Peter Tork, 77, February 21, Mansfield, Connecticut. American pop musician. Best known as the bass player in the original boy band, The Monkees. Adenoid cystic carcinoma.

Tom Ballard, 30, February c.24, Nanga Parbat, Pakistan. British mountaineer. First person to complete climbs of all six major north faces in the Alps in the same season. Died with companion Daniele Nardi while attempting ascent of the “Killer Mountain”, the ninth highest mountain in the world. His mother, Alison Hargreaves [the first woman to climb Mt Everest unassisted by oxygen], died while climbing nearby mountain K2 [1995]. Accident. 400m fall.

André Previn KBE, 89, February 28, New York. German-born American composer, conductor, and impresario. Chief conductor at London Symphony and London Philharmonic Orchestras. Jazz pianist, recording dozens of jazz albums. Won four Academy Awards for his film scores. Received honourary British knighthood [1996]. Married five times, seven children. Flamed out.

† MARCH †

Mike Willesee AO, 76, March 1, Perth. Hard-drinking Australian journalist and television personality known for his critical political coverage. Hosted ABC's Four Corners program [1969-1971], and later appeared on the Nine, Ten and Seven Networks in 30 year current affairs career. Re-embraced Roman Catholicism in later life and produced popular documentaries in the US on so-called "miracles". Throat cancer.

Les Carlyon AC, 76, March 4, Melbourne. Australian journalist, editor and historian. Former editor of the The Age newspaper, and editor-in-chief of The Herald and Weekly Times. Two Walkley awards and lifetime-achievement gong. Wrote six books on Australian sports and war history. Cancer-related illness.

Keith Flint, 49, March 4, Dunmow, Essex. Outrageous British post-punk front man for electro-pop band The Prodigy [1997-2019], selling 30 million+ records world-wide. Motorcycle racing team owner and publican in later life. Suicide.

Kelly Catlin, 23, March 8, Stanford, California. American Olympian and professional cyclist, engineer, violinist, artist. Silver medalist at Rio [2016] in Team's Pursuit and three times World Champion. Suicide.

Julia Ruth Stevens, 102, March 9, Henderson, Nevada. Adopted daughter of American baseball immortal "Babe" Ruth. Major boosterist of the Ruth legend, appearing as guest of honour at ball parks across the US until the age of 100. Extreme old age.

Edmund Capon AM OBE, 78, London, March 13. Eccentric English born Australian art director, curator, author, historian, PhD in Chinese Art. 33-year-long Director Art Gallery of New South Wales [1978-2011]. Tripled the size of the gallery collection, creating the Gallery's Asian art wing. Paid $A16.2 million for a Cézanne [2008]. Biggest regret the still unsolved theft of million dollar 17th-century Frans van Mieris painting on his watch [2007].Chevalier, Ordre des Arts des Lettres. Complications of melanoma.

Birch Bayh, 91, March 14, Easton, Maryland. American politician and broad-acre farmer. Democrat Senator for Indiana [1963-81]. Principally known as the lead author of the 25th and 26th Amendments to the US Constitution. Advocate of abolition of the Electoral College. Pneumonia.

Charlie Whiting, 66, March 14, Melbourne. English motor racing engineer and official. Chief Steward [Race Director] for FIA in Formula One [1997-2019]. Started every F1 race for 21 years. Died suddenly the day before the start of the 2019 Australian F1GP. Pulmonary embolism.

Dick Dale, 81, March 16, Loma Linda, California. American musician and sound engineer known as "The King of the Surf Guitar". Collaborated on creation of the first ever 100 watt guitar amplifier. Released five surf music albums [1962-64], regular on the Ed Sullivan Show, before making a comeback in the 90's. Congestive heart disease, renal failure.

Bruce "Roo" Yardley, 71, March 27. Kununurra, Western Australia. Australian test cricketer. Off-spinner, playing 33 tests for 126 wickets. International Cricketer of the Year [1981-82]. Called by umpires twice for throwing in Jamaica [1978], with the tour ending in a spectator riot. Bowling coach in later life and credited with inventing the "doosra" for all-time test wicket taker, Muttiah Muralitharan. Short cancer-related illness.

† APRIL †

Lloyd McDermott, 79, April 6, Brisbane. Australian indigenous lawyer and rugby union footballer. Mununjali and Waka Waka man. First aboriginal barrister in Australia, and former Wallaby. Best known for refusing to tour South Africa with the Wallabies in 1963 due to the country's apartheid regime. Short illness.

Richard E. Cole,103, April 9, San Antonia, Texas American Air Force pilot. Last of "The Doolittles". Final surviving crew member of the16 strong squadron of B-25's that bombed Tokyo on April 18, 1942. Extreme old age.

Jim Daniher, 90, April 12, Ungarie, New South Wales. Australian farmer and progenitor of the famous Daniher Australian Rules football family. Four sons, and two grandsons all played AFL for Essendon. Old age.

Paul Greengard, 93, April 13, New York. American neuroscientist and Nobel Laureate. Won Nobel Prize for Medicine [2000] for work proving the chemical links in brain cell communications, paving the way for the development of a new generation of anti-psychotic drugs. Old age.

Alan García, 69, April 17, Lima, Peru. Peruvian politician and two-term President of Peru [1985-90, 2006-11]. Leader of the Peruvian Aprista Party. Shot himself dead during police raid to arrest him on bribery and corruption charges. Suicide.

Lyra McKee, 29, April 18, Derry, Northern Ireland. Northern Irish investigative journalist and author. Specialised in covering historic unsolved murders during The Troubles. About to publish the first of a three book deal. Shot during a riot. Unsolved murder.

Les Murray AO, 80, April 29, Taree, New South Wales. Australian poet and literary critic. Published 30 volumes of poetry over four-decade career. Longtime literary editor Quadrant magazine. Chronic illness.

Peter Mayhew, 74, April 30, Boyd, Texas. English-born American character actor, children's author. Best known for his role as Chewbacca [1997-2015] in the Star Wars cinema franchise. Cardiac arrest.

† MAY †

Mike Williamson OAM, 90, May 2, Melbourne. Australian sports journalist and colourful Australian football media identity. Decades long career in radio and television becoming a household name with Channel 7 from 1959, broadcasting football, cricket and tennis. Delivered immortal line in the 1970 VFL grand final “Jesaulenko! You beauty!”. Old age.

Doris Day, 97, May 13, Carmel Valley, California. American singer, actress, and Hollywood superstar. Recorded more than 650 popular songs. Became a 1960's Hollywood box office hit with a series of romantic comedies. Following film career, starred in own TV series The Doris Day Show [1963-72]. Retired from the screen 1973. Later became involved in animal rights activism. Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom [2004]. Four times married. Requested no funeral or gravesite. Pneumonia.

Grumpy Cat, 7, May 14, Morristown, Arizona. American calico cat with feline dwarfism. The original "internet cat". Lived out her life as a 'viral sensation'. Urinary tract infection.

Robert James Lee "Bob" Hawke AC, 89, May 16, Sydney. Australian trade union leader and politician. ACTU President [1969-79]. Australia's longest serving Labor Prime Minister [1983-1991]. Statesman, consummate politician, consensus builder, charismatic leader, national icon, history maker, showman, raconteur, Rhodes scholar, ladies man and gentleman. Son of a Congregationalist minister, lost his Christian faith [1952] and became agnostic. Set beer sculling world record [1956] while at Oxford. Self-admitted alcoholic, stopped drinking for 11 years [1983-1994]. Separated from wife Hazel [1995] and married his biographer Blanche d'Alpuget. Legend and folk hero of the Australian Labor movement. Old age.

I.M.Pei, 102, May 16, New York. Chinese-born American architect. Designed landmark buildings around the world. Won Pritzker Prize [1983] considered the Nobel Prize for Architecture. Extreme old age.

Herman Wouk, 103, May 17, Palm Springs, California. American popular fiction novelist, radio writer and WWII US Navy veteran. Largely shunned by critics, authored several run away best sellers, notably The Caine Mutiny which sold three million copies and won the Pullizter Prize [1951]. Extreme old age.

Niki Lauda, 70, May 20, Zürich, Switzerland. Austrian racing car driver and motor sports super star. Three times Formula One World Champion [1975 and 77 - Ferrari, 1984 - McLaren]. Severely disfigured by burns in near-fatal accident at Nürburgring [1976]. Achieved greatest success post accident. Ran his own airline Lauda Air [1997-2013], briefly returning to F1 [1982], and later became involved in the ownership and management of Formula One teams. Double lung transplant recipient ten months before death. Complications of kidney failure and long term respiratory damage.

Judith Kerr OBE, 95, May 22 German-born British children's author, illustrator, novelist. Best known for the best selling The Tiger Who Came to Tea [1968], part of her 17 volume Mog series. Short illness.

Murray Gell-Mann, 89, May 24, Santa Fe, New Mexico. American physicist and Nobel laureate. Known as the "Father of quantum mechanics". Won Nobel Prize for Physics [1959] for his work on sub-atomic elementary particles. Work on cosmic rays proved the existence of "quarks". Chronic illness.

James S. Ketchum, 87, May 27, Peoria, Arizona. American army psychiatrist who experimented with the hallucinogenic drug LSD on 5000 volunteer soldiers at at Edgewood Arsenal Chemical Warfare Facility in the 1960's, aimed at determining its possible debilitating effects on enemy battle field groups. US Army cancelled the program after ten years, declaring it "impractical" .Drifted off.

Leon Redbone, 69, May 30, Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Cypriot-born American guitarist, singer-songwriter, actor, comedian, raconteur. Best known for his vaudevillian jazz and tin pan alley stage shows. Recorded 18 studio albums. Dementia.

† JUNE †

Malcolm Rebennack aka "Dr John", 77, June 6, New Orleans, Louisiana. American R&B musician, singer/songwriter, entertainer over 40 year career. Best known for theatrical stage shows based on the "New Orleans sound" and recorded 30 studio albums. Six Grammy awards and inducted into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame [2011]. Cardiac arrest.

Peter Batey OAM, 85, June 14, Coolac, New South Wales. Prolific Australian playwright, theatre producer and impresario. Founding member of Melbourne Theater Company, and inaugural artistic director of the South Australian Theatre Company, directing/producing more than 130 plays. Best known for founding the Bald Archy competition, a satirical take on the Archibald Prize. Single-car motor crash.

Anne Hamilton-Byrne, 98, June 15, Melbourne. Australian leader of the doomsday cult The Family [1963-87]. Claimed she was Jesus Christ incarnate, and accused of the imprisonment, drugging and beating of children, but never faced justice, despite being extradited after fleeing to the United States following a police raid. Dementia.

Franco Zeffirelli KBE OMRI, 96, June 15, Rome. Celebrated Italian film maker, opera director and politician. Best known for Oscar winning film adaptation of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet [1968]. Elected to the Italian Senate [1994-2001]. Honourary British knighthood [2004]. Old age.

Mohammed Morsi, 67, June 17, Cairo. Egyptian politician, leader of the Muslim Brotherhood, and first democratically elected President of Egypt [2012]. Deposed in a coup d'tat less than a year later. Already convicted of murder on thin evidence and sentenced to death, collapsed and died in the dock during trial on espionage charges. Cardiac Arrest.

Bill Collins OAM, 87, June 20, Melbourne. Australian film critic known as "Mr Movies". Worked on all three commercial television networks, presenting Bill Collins' Golden Years of Hollywood on Channel Ten for fifteen years. Brief illness..

Judith Krantz, 91, June 22, Los Angeles. American pulp fiction novelist and magazine journalist. Wrote ten runaway best selling steamy romance books, publishing her first at the age of 50. Sold an astonishing 80 million copies in more than 50 languages. Old age.

Dave Batholomew, 100, June 23, New Orleans, Louisiana. American jazz musician, composer, arranger, producer. Best known as long time collaborator with the legendary Fats Domino producing more than 40 hits in the 1950's. Congestive heart disease.

George Rosenkranz, 102, June 23. Atherton, California. Hungarian-born American scientist, leading steroid researcher and co-inventor of the first chemical female birth control, known as "The Pill" [1964]. Grand master of the contract bridge card game, writing ten books on the subject. His wife Edith kidnapped for ransom, and released unharmed [1984]. Extreme old age.

† JULY †

João Gilberto, 88, July 6, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Brazilian singer/songwriter known as "The Father of the Bossa Nova" along with long-time collaborator Antônio Carlos Jobim. Musical superstar in Brazil, but died in debt. Three children by three women. Dementia.

Sutopo Purwo Nugroho aka Pak Topo, 49, July 7, Guangzhou, China. Indonesian public servant and media celebrity. Chief spokesman for the Indonesian National Disaster Mitigation Agency. Much loved communicator of disaster relief operations, providing honest and direct emergency reports on the ground. Directed Sulawesi earthquake and tsunami media efforts from his hospital bed eight months before death. Lung cancer.

Ross Perot, 89, July 9, Dallas, Texas. American electronics billionaire and would be politician. Twice ran for President of the USA [1992, 96] as an Independent, garnering 19% of the popular vote in 1996. Leukemia.

Rip Torn, 88, July 9, Lakeville, Connecticut. American stage, screen and television actor. Oscar nominee.1956 for film debut in Baby Doll, leading to a successful bit-part Hollywood career. Worked in television comedy in later career. Retired 2009. Famous for on-set brawling and a reputation as a "hell raiser". Given suspended jail term for burglary and carrying a loaded weapon while intoxicated (2010). Three times married. Complications of chronic alcoholism.

Fernando Corbató, 93, July 12, Newburyport, Massachusetts. American computing scientist and engineer. Best known for inventing computer passwords with his development of the Compatible Time-Sharing System (CTSS) in the late 1950's at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Won the Turing Award [1990] for lifetime achievement in computing. Complications of diabetes

Pernell "Sweet Pea" Whitaker, 55, July 13, Virginia Beach, Virginia. American Olympic boxing gold medalist [Los Angeles 1984] and winner of professional boxing World Championship belts in four different weight divisions. Alcoholic in later life and did jail time over cocaine possession. Made millions but died poor. Accident. Hit by car.

Justice John Paul Stevens, 99, July 16, Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Former US Supreme Court judge, retiring at age 90 after 35 years on the bench on appointment by President Gerald Ford, leading the "liberal wing" of the court. Stroke.

Justice David Hunt AO QC, 84, July 19, Sydney. Former New South Wales Supreme Court justice and Chief Judge at Common Law. Presided over the trial of infamous backpacker killer, Ivan Milat, sentencing him to life in jail, with no parole [1996]. After retirement served as a judge on the UN International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia and later the UN International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda. Complications of dementia.

Shelia Dikshit, 81, July 20, New Delhi. Indian politician and long-time Chief Minister of New Delhi [1998-2013]. Chief architect and promoter of the New Delhi Commonwealth Games [2010]. Congestive heart disease.

Peter McNamara, 64, July 20, Sonthofen, Germany. Australian tennis player. Doubles specialist who won Wimbledon twice with long time partner Paul McNamee [1980, 82] forming "The Two Macs". Appeared for Australia 21 times in Davis Cup rubbers and reached No.7 in the world in singles. Long time pro-coach following retirement [1987]. Prostate cancer.

Paul Krassner, 87, July 21, Desert Hot Springs, California. American anarchist, journalist, prankster, and co-founder of the Yippie movement along with Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman. Published satirical political magazine The Realist [1967]. Alzheimer's disease.

Margaret Fulton OAM, 93, July 24, Sydney. Scottish-born Australian cook, journalist, author, television personality, raconteur. Food Editor "Woman's Day" [1960-79], where she was renowned for her encyclopedic knowledge of cookery. Her first book The Margaret Fulton Cookbook [1968], sold more than 1.5 million copies, becoming a culinary "bible". Credited with bringing international cuisine to the Australian plebeian. Old age.

Mohamed Essebsi, 92, July 25, Tunis, Tunisia. First democratically elected president of Tunisia [2014-19]. Died in office five months short of the end of his term. Wife died at 83 two months later.. Sudden illness.

Russi Taylor, 75, July 26. Glendale, California. American voice actor principally known as the voice of Minnie Mouse for 30 years. Married to the voice of Mickey Mouse, Wayne Allwine, for 18 years until his death in 2009. Also voiced Strawberry Shortcake and Pebbles Flintstone. Work in television spanned the "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" to the "The Simpsons" in 45 year career. Colon cancer.

Doris Goddard, 89, July 29, Sydney. Australian hotelier and cabaret performer. Colourful Sydney identify, worked in cabaret in Europe and Asia in the 1950's, then owned various pubs in Balmain and Newtown, before buying the Hollywood Hotel, Surry Hills in 1977. Well known for serenading front bar patrons until her death. Brief illness.

† AUGUST †

Damien Lovelock, 65, August 3, Sydney. English-born Australian musician, author, raconteur, sports commentator, and Ryoho yoga teacher. Front man for cult punk band Celibate Rifles, later career as a television soccer commentator and yoga master. Short cancer-related illness.

Toni Morrison, 88, August 5, New York. Revered American novelist and Nobel Laureate. Best known for her trilogy of novels Beloved. Awarded Pulitzer Prize [1987], Nobel Prize for Literature [1993], Presidential Medal of Freedom [2012]. Pneumonia.

Kary B. Mullis, 74, August 7, Newport Beach, California. American biochemist, author, raconteur and Nobel Laureate. Won1993 Nobel Prize for Chemistry [1993] for developing simple and inexpensive analysis of DNA, paving the way for major advances in medical diagnostics, molecular biology and forensic science. Well known proponent of the use of LSD and other psychotropic drugs and active believer in extra-terrestrial beings. Pneumonia.

Malcolm T. Elliot, 73, August 8, Lismore, New South Wales. Australian broadcaster. Long-time Sydney radio announcer [2UE, 2GB, 2UW, 2KY. 1972-2004]. Pioneered the madcap breakfast radio formula. Survived major emergency heart surgery [2004]. Died homeless and destitute. Complications of multiple chronic illnesses.

Jeffery Epstein, 66, August 10, New York. American merchant banker, financier, philanthropist, convicted child sex offender. Suicide. Hanged himself in jail while on remand on sex trafficking charges.

Nignhali Lawford, 52, August 11, Edinburgh, Scotland. Walmadjari woman. Indigenous Australian film, stage and musical theatre actor. Best known for roles in Rabbit Proof Fence [2002] and Bran Nue Dae [2009]. Sudden death while on international tour with Sydney Theatre Company. Asthma attack.

Graham "Polly" Farmer MBE, 84, August 14, Perth. Legendary indigenous Australian Rules footballer. Unique ruckman, star of the WAFL [1953-61], then played 101 games for Geelong in the VFL [1962-7]. Later career in coaching, but lost life savings in a failed motel business. Widely credited with opening the door for other Aboriginal players at the top level through the Polly Farmer Foundation.. Awarded MBE [1971] the first royal honour for an Australian Rules footballer. Inducted into Australian Rules Hall of Fame as a "Legend" [1996]. Alzheimer's disease.

Peter Fonda, 79, August 16, Los Angeles. American actor and cinema screenwriter. Began as a 'counter culture' actor, nominated for Academy Award for screenplay of cult movie Easy Rider [1969], and went on to appear action movies in the 1970's and 80's. Son of Henry Fonda, brother of Jane Fonda, and father of Bridgett Fonda. Lung cancer.

Tim Fischer AC, 73, August 22, Albury, New South Wales. Australian politician, statesman, soldier, diplomat, farmer, author, railway enthusiast, scholar and gentleman. Former National Party Leader, Deputy Prime Minister and Trade Minister in Howard Govt [1996-99], Ambassador to the Holy See [2009-2012]. Conscripted into Australian Army and wounded in Vietnam War. Suffered life-long autism. Acute myeloid leukemia.

David Koch, 79, August 23, Southampton, New York. American industrialist billionaire, philanthropist, and secretive right-wing political donor, with brother Charles, owning petro-chemical empire Koch Industries. 11th richest man in the world at death with a net personal worth at $50B. Prostate cancer.

Al Haynes, 87, August 25 Seattle, Washington. American commercial airline pilot. Pilot of United Airlines Flight 232 "The Miracle of Sioux City" in 1989. Lost all hydraulics after tail engine explosion in a DC10. Piloted essentially uncontrollable aircraft for 44 minutes, before crash landing at Sioux City airport, Iowa, en-route Chicago-Denver. Among 184 survivors, although 111 on board died. Kept flying after accident and had later career as an aviation safety expert. Brief illness.

Jim Leavelle, 99, August 29, Denver, Colorado. American homicide detective. Escort guard for JFK assassin Lee Harvey Oswald when he was shot dead by Jack Ruby at Dallas police headquarters [1963]. Cardiac arrest.

† SEPTEMBER †

Robert Mugabe, 95, September 6, Singapore. Zimbabwean politician, freedom fighter, dictator, tyrant and despot. Liberated Zimbabwe from white rule [1980] after 15 year civil war, then became a brutal authoritarian dictator for 27 years, until deposed in military coup d'tat [2017]. Chronic cancer-related illnesses.

Abdul Qadir, 63, September 6, Lahore. Pakistani test cricketer. Arguably the best leg spin bowler of his generation. 236 wickets in 67 tests for Pakistan [1977-90], becoming a mentor for slow bowlers who followed. Cardiac arrest.

Robert Frank, 94, September 9, Inverness, Nova Scotia, Canada. Swiss-born American photographer and photo-journalist. Best known for 1958 book The Americans, documenting everyday life across the USA. Lived as a recluse for his last 45 years after the death of his daughter age 20 in a plane crash. Old age.

Danny "Spud" Frawley, 56, September 9, Millbrook, Victoria. Champion Australian rules footballer, coach and legend. Played 240 games for St Kilda, nine seasons as captain. Coached Richmond to preliminary final [2001]. Later career as a popular radio and television personality and pundit. Single vehicle motor crash. Suicide.

B.J."Pak" Habibe, 83, September 11, Jakarta. Former Indonesian President [1998-9]. aeronautical engineer, politician, author. Took power after Suharto resigned after 30 years in office, and called early elections, which he lost. Allowed referendum on East Timorese independence to go ahead ending the first 24 years of armed hostilities, and enhanced Indonesian economic competition and expansion. Supporter of press freedom. Licenced aeronautical engineer, honourary PhD. Established Indonesian aircraft manufacturing industry [1976]. Subject of two popular feature films, with a third in the making. Congestive heart disease.

Paul Cronin, 81, September 13, Melbourne. Australian television actor, radio personality, Australia Rules football administrator. Came to prominence in police drama Matlock Police, star of long running soap opera The Sullivans [1976-83], also appeared in other soapies Homicide, Division 4, and The Flying Doctors. '1980 King of Moomba'. Led consortium with Christophe Skase to establish Brisbane Bears AFL Club, President [1986-7]. Five silver Logies, never won gold. Short illness.

Charlie Cole, 64, September 13, Ubud, Indonesia. American freelance photojournalist. Best known for the single photograph Tank Man from events surrounding the Tienanmen Square Massacre while on assignment for Newsweek magazine, winning the 1990 World Press Photo award. One of only four foreign press photographers on the scene. Retired to Bali at age 50. Cardiac arrest.

Ric Ocasek, 75, September 15, New York. American singer/songwriter, artist. Lead singer of The Cars. Six sons by three wives, divorced for the last time a year before his death. Took up painting in later years. Congestive heart disease.

Samiuela ʻAkilisi Pōhiva, 78, September 12, Auckland. Tongan politician. Incumbent Prime Minister of Tonga [2018-19]. Died in office. Pneumonia.

Nancy Beaumont, 92, September 18, Adelaide. Australian mother of the three infamous Beaumont Children, who disappeared without trace in Adelaide [1966], in one of Australia's most enduring unsolved mysteries. Old age.

Zine el-Abidine Ben Ali, 83, September 19, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, September 19. Tunisian politician, dictator, despot. Former President of Tunisia [1987-2011]. Ouster in military-backed popular uprising inspired the 2011 "Arab Spring". Fled the country and died in exile. Prostate cancer.

Bob Oatey OAM, 77, September 17, Adelaide. Champion Australian Rules footballer. Played 301 SANFL games for Norwood and Sturt. The last of the long term player-coaches [1968-1973]. Played nine games for South Australia in the sixties.. Later career as television football commentator. Cancer related illness.

Davo Karnicar, 56, September 16, Zgornje-Jezersko, Slovenia. Slovenian downhill skier, mountaineer and daredevil. Only person to have climbed then descended from Mt Everest on skiis [2000]. Skiied down the highest mountains on seven continents, and three of the main peaks in the Alps. Tree lopping farm accident.

Barron Hilton, 91, September 19, Los Angeles. American multi-billionaire hotel magnate, casino operator and aviation enthusiast. Inherited Hilton Hotels from his father and rapidly expanded the chain as Chairman Hilton Hotels Corporation [1966-2007], to almost a million rooms. Co-founded the break-away American Football League [1960], briefly owning the Los Angeles Chargers. Twice failed in attempts to fly around the world by balloon. Piloting recreational aircraft and gliders until age 84. Old age.

Jimmy Nelson, 90, September 24, Cape Coral, Florida. Pioneering American ventriloquist of the 1950's and 60's. Created the arch-typical ventriloquist's dummy Danny O’Day, and Farrel the Dog, both becoming television stars. Also recorded a series of "how to" albums, paving the way for ventriloquist's who followed. Stroke.

Jacques Chirac, 86, September 26, Paris. Former French President [1995-2007], two-time Prime Minister, and Mayor of Paris. Gaullist center-right politician; became the most unpopular President in French history during second term. Convicted on corruption charges, and given two year suspended sentence. Vocal critic of the Iraq War. Grand Officier Légion d'honneur. Complications of stroke and pneumonia.

Jessie Norman, 74, September 30, New York. American opera singer. Dramatic soprano and superstar with world's leading opera companies over 50 year career. Awarded National Medal of Arts [2009], Fellow Royal Academy of Music, Chevalier Légion d'honneur, Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award. Complications of spinal cord injury and multiple organ failure.

Victoria Galbraith, 52, September 30, Augsburg, Pennsylvania. British born American biological scientist and author. Professor of Animal Behavior and Cognition at time of death. First researcher to prove that fish feel pain. Pancreatic cancer.

"George", The Talking Clock, 66, September 30, Melbourne. Accurate automatic telephone audio time teller since 1953, with three pips counting down to every ten seconds. Final version voiced by Richard Peach [d.2008]. Number 1194 discontinued as incompatible with modern technology, despite getting about two million calls a year. Talking Clock stopped at midnight 30 September. Killed off.

† OCTOBER †

Peter "Ginger" Baker, 80, October 6, Canterbury, England. British rock musician. Formed power rock trio Cream [1966] selling 10 million albums, and the first "supergroup" Blind Faith [1968]. Drummer who pioneered using two bass drums. Chronic heroin addict, relapsing 29 times. Four times married, three children. Known for his outrageous, volatile on and off stage personality. Rare heart disease and complications of a fall.

Alexei Leonov, 85, October 11, Moscow. Russian cosmonaut. First human to 'walk' in space. Exited the Voskhod 2 space capsule in orbit for 12 minutes, on 18 March 1965. Beat the first American to walk in space, Ed White, by less than three months. Awarded Hero of the Soviet Union [twice]. Chronic illness.

Reg Watson AM, 93, October 11, Melbourne. Australian screen writer, director, and television producer. Created soap opera, Neighbours, the longest continuously running show on Australian television [1985-present]. Also co-created other popular soaps, including Prisoner, The Young Doctors, and Sons and Daughters, with executive producer Reg Grundy. Began career in the UK, creating "the first true British soap opera" Crossroads. Long illness.

Harold Bloom, 89, October 14, New Haven, Connecticut. Eccentric American academic, literary scholar and critic. Published more than 40 books. Best known for the Western Canon, a survey of literary works since the 14th century. Photographic memory. Claimed to be able to recite all of Shakespeare by heart. Taught last class at Yale University four days before his death. Sudden illness.

Choi Jin-ri aka "Sulli", 25, October 14, Seongnam, South Korea. Musician, K-Pop star, actor, model. Member of the hit all-girl K-Pop outfit, f(x) [2009-14], followed by successful solo career. Outspoken critic of societal expectation and image presentation in the K-Pop industry Suffered from severe clinical depression. Suicide.

Elijah E. Cummings, 68, October 17, Baltimore, Maryland. Long serving American politician, congressman, orator, social justice and gun control advocate. Elected to 13 consecutive terms to the US House of Representatives for Maryland, Baltimore (7th District). Chairman, House Committee on Oversight and Reform until death. Became frail and wheelchair bound in his final years; died in office. Complications of "long standing health issues".

Marieke Vervoort, 40, October 22, Diest, Belgium. Belgian paralympian [London 2012, Rio 2016]. Wheelchair racer, author. Sufferer of reflex sympathetic dystrophy since age 14, losing the use of both legs and inducing intense pain. Euthanised at assisted suicide clinic.

Ivan Milat, 74, October 26, Long Bay, New South Wales. Australian serial killer. Murdered seven European backpackers who went missing between 1989-92, whose remains were found in the Balanglo State Forest. Convicted after long-running trial in 1996, and sentenced to seven life terms. Never admitted guilt. Died in jail. Stomach and esophageal cancer.

Abū Bakr al-Baghdadi, c.46-47, October 26, Barisha, Syria. Iraqi Muslim extremist and military commander. Elusive leader of Islamic State of Iraq and Syria [ISIS] from 2013 until his death, leading rapid expansion of the fundamentalist ISIS 'caliphate' [2013-14]. Survived numerous assassination attempts. Blew himself up during raid by US Special Forces. Suicide.

† NOVEMBER †

Yvette Lundy, 103, November 4, Épernay, France. French WWII resistance fighter. Forged identity papers for Jews and helped Allied airmen shot down over France escape detection. Arrested by the Gestapo [1944] and survived two concentration camps. Concealed war-time experiences until age 42, and then began teaching in schools. Awarded Grand Officier Légion d'honneur at age 101. Extreme old age.

Bob Smithies, 72, November 5, Sydney. English-born Australian rugby league footballer. Played at fullback for the Balmain Tigers in 1969, starring in that year's famous Grand Final victory. Later career as a school teacher. Chronic illness.

James Le Mesurier OBE, 48, November 11, Istanbul. Former British army officer and humanitarian. Founder of the Mayday Rescue group which helped train the White Helmets brigade for the rescue of wounded civilians in the Syrian Civil War. Balcony fall at his home. Suspected/disputed suicide.

Harrison "Bones" Dillard, 96, November 15, Cleveland, Ohio. Champion American athlete. Only man to have won an Olympic gold medal in the 100m [London 1948] and the 110m hurdles [Helsinki 1952]. Worked as a major league baseball scout and school administrator in later life. Stomach cancer.

Bill Waterhouse, 97, November 22, Sydney. Celebrity Australian bookmaker and former barrister. One of Australia's most notorious bookmakers, renowned for taking on some of the country's biggest punters. Implicated in "off the book" SP betting, and involvement in the horse substitution racket "Fine Cotton Affair" [1984], resulting in being 'warned off' racetracks "for life". Regained bookmaker's licence in 2002 to ostensibly teach his grand-son Tom the trade. Old age.

Iman, c.25, November 23, Sabah, Borneo, Malaysia. Last known surviving Eastern Sumatran rhinoceros [dicerorhinus sumatrensis harrissoni] in Malaysia. Female spent last five years in captivity in unsuccessful in-vitro breeding program. Species now believed extinct in Borneo. Less than 60 survive in the wild on the Indonesian island of Sumatra. Cancer.

Goo Hara, 28, November 24, Seoul. South Korean singer, actor, and former K-Pop star. Open critic of the K-Pop star system. Suffered from clinical depression. Close friend of Sulli, who took her own life five weeks earlier. Suicide.

Clive James AO CBE, 80, November 24, Cambridge, England. Australian author, critic, poet, novelist, biographer, raconteur, television personality, famous ex-patriot. Moved to England at age 22, and never left. Attended Cambridge University. First job as a television critic for The Observer, then wrote literary criticism, poetry, novels and travelogues. Moved to radio and television; known for dead-pan humour, eventually hosting two simultaneous daily television programs in the UK. Wrote five volumes of memoirs. Diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia [2012], as well as emphysema and eventual kidney failure. Multiple chronic illnesses.

Sir Jonathan Miller KB CBE, 85, November 27, London. British theatre and opera director, academic, television producer/presenter, humourist, medical doctor. First came to prominence in comedy show Beyond The Fringe [1960], later career in academic medicine, television, theatre, and opera production/direction. Alzheimer's disease.

Pim Verbeek, 63, November 28, Rotterdam, Netherlands. Dutch soccer coach. Coached the Australian soccer team to the 2010 World Cup. Also coached Japan, Korea, Morocco, and Oman. Known as a gentleman of the game. Cancer related illness.

Yasuhiro Nakasone, 101, November 29, Tokyo. Japanese politician and former Prime Minister (1992-87), promoting nationalism and privatisation. Member of the Japanese Diet for more than 50 years. Served as a Navy paymaster during WWII. Oldest living former state leader in the world at time of death. Extreme old age.

† DECEMBER †

Andrew "Greedy" Smith, 63, December 1, Sydney. Australian musician, singer/songwriter, artist. Founding member and frontman of cult Australian rock band Mental As Anything. Cardiac arrest.

Bob Willis MBE, 70, December 4, London. English Test cricketer. Fast bowler with extravagant long run-up, taking 325 test wickets. Played 90 test matches for England, (1971-84), 18 tests as Captain. Played a pivotal role in the famous 1981 Ashes series. Later career in cricket media commentary. Known as a 'demon' on field, and a gentleman in the pavilion. Prostate cancer.

Carroll Spinney, 85, December 8, Woodstock, Connecticut. American puppeteer and voice actor. Operated and voiced the iconic puppets Big Bird and Oscar The Grouch on long-running children's television show Sesame Street, for 50 years, working on the first series in 1969 until retirement aged 84. Complications of late onset dystonia.

Jill Emberey, 60, December 12, Newcastle, New South Wales. Australian radio journalist and broadcaster. Long-time regional ABC presenter. Spent final years as an advocate for cancer research. Ovarian cancer.

Sir Peter Snell KNZM OBE, 80, December 12, Dallas, Texas. New Zealand Olympian and champion middle-distance track athlete. Won the 800m at the 1960 Olympics (Rome), and gold in the 800m and 1500m at the 1964 Olympics (Tokyo), the only runner to ever do so. Set a new word record for the mile in 1962. Retired from the track in 1965 aged 28. Moved to the USA in 1971, working in sports science and becoming a permanent resident. Cardiac arrest.

Ward Just, 84, December 19, Plymouth, Massachusetts. American journalist and novelist. Prominent Vietnam War correspondent for the Washington Post. Wounded in Viet Cong mortar attack (1966), but later returned to the battlefield. Later career as an author of a dozen political novels. Anti-war activist. Lewy body dementia.

John Cain, 88, December 23, Melbourne. Australian lawyer and politician. Longest serving Labor Premier of Victoria [1982-90]. Ended 27 years of Conservative rule in Victoria in 1982, re-elected twice. Most popular Victorian Premier by electoral success during first two terms. Known as a no-nonsense straight-shooter, scholar and gentleman. Stroke.

Richard Alpert aka Baba Ram Dass, 88, December 24, Honolulu, Hawaii. Author and 1960's 'counter-culture' leader with Timothy Leary and Allan Ginsberg. Best known for writing Hippie "bible" Be Here Now. Advocate of LSD and other psychotropic drugs, later taking up Sufism. Later life as an advocate for the rights of the ageing. Complications of stroke and a fall.

Bill Ryan, 97, December 25, Sydney. Australian soldier and political activist. WWII veteran of the Kokoda Campaign. Vocal critic of the Vietnam War and the South African apartheid regime. Serial protestor. Arrested seven times for civil disobedience. Later embraced environmental activism, supporting school climate strikes. Last seen protesting on the streets of Sydney a week before his death. Short illness, old age.

Neil Innes, 75, December 29, Toulouse, France. British comedian, musician, stage and screen writer, children's author. Known at "the 7th Python", writing sketches and songs for the Monty Python Show [stage, TV and film]. Founded the Bonzo Dog Dooh-Dah Band and Beatles spoof band The Rutles. Best known for Monty Python song "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life". Cardiac arrest.

ScoMo in the land of The Great Duke Kahanamoku

Comrades,

There is nothing wrong with Prime Ministers taking a holiday. Nothing at all. Everyone needs to be sensible from time to time, just ask the Leave Work On Time Society. I remember the late great Tim Fischer telling me off-the-record while I was working as an on-the-road radio reporter that he absolutely loved the Xmas Holidays. Not because of Lil' Honest John decamping to his holiday shack at Hawks Nest up there Nelson Bay way, and Tim, by default becoming Acting Prime Minister. Oh no. He loved it because "Boree Creek became the nerve centre of the nation for a fortnight". He told of his delight at running the nation from a caravan parked out the back of his block there, and how he had to get the techs in from the PMG Dept. to run a two-strand copper telephone wire to it and connect it to a dial-up handset, while he wheeled out an old diesel generator from a shed someplace and tricked up a jury-rig to power the lights, regardless of the fact that electricity is dangerous. A notepad and some pencils, and that's all he needed. No staff required. Oh, how he larfed his head off telling that yarn.

So it may merit some comment in passing on ScoMo's sojourn to the Happy Isles of Hawai'i. And why not? I have always wanted to go there, if only because if Darwin ever found it, it would have put the Galapagos Islands in the shade, as about 90% of the flora & fauna are endemic to the former Sandwich Islands. So when you go there, almost everything to see you've never seen before. A whole new world in a tropical idyll. Brilliant! The outer islands of this 1500 mile chain are best to see Mother Nature in all her glory of course, but who could resist the delights of a six-star hotel pool at Waikiki, knocking back Mai Tais from here to breakfast on a banana lounge? Or maybe pop on over to the The Banzai Pipeline for a day of sports action? If only the late great Midget Farrelly was still the surfing Champion of the World in the land of The Great Duke Kahanamoku. How good was Midget? How good was The Duke? So, quite obviously, the 50th Great State of the Union has a lot going for it. And besides, the Hon. Morrison could tell the Hawaiian Tourism Authority exactly where they are going wrong in their tourist promotions, while looking very fetching; shirtless, with a lei hung around his neck and tastefully draped over his rather attractive man boobs.

Most of the outrage on yr Soshul Meejah was fairly droll. Tik Tok was chock full of people going right off their tits in 30 second grabs, and calling ScoMo all sorts of very rude names. I should know, because I am a huge fan of Tik Tok. It was the most downloaded Soshul Meejah app in the world last year, and it beats Facecrook hands down for hours of mindless scrolling, if you are into that sort of thing. Not that I'd even know how to scroll through Prince Zuck's trash, having never signed up for it and having no intention of ever doing so. And as Our Great and Glorious Leader was being relentlessly harangued as a cruel heartless bastard who was contemplating his belly button under a swaying palm tree while the country burned, it wasn't lost on me that Tik Tok is run out of Beijing, and is owned 100% and staffed entirely by people from China, where Tik Tok itself is very conveniently banned. How good is soft diplomacy?

Perhaps the main point to come out of all this brou-ha-ha is ScoMo's utter lack of ability to even comprehend the simple concept of Leadership. To him it's like "the concept of North"; entirely abstract. Never mind dozens of Australians being boiled alive in some volcano off the coast of the Shakey Isles, Scotty just doesn't grasp the time-honoured world-wide tradition of national leaders returning from overseas quick smart to deal with any National Crisis/Emergency. Oh no, it takes two volunteer firefighters to die at the front before ScoMo is distracted enough from his cocktail with a little umbrella in it to try to "find a way home as quickly as possible". And even then he wasn't quick about it at all. Tardy, actually. I mean, really, how many cattle-class non-stop eleven-hour flights depart daily from Honolulu bound for Sydney at this time of year? In the unlikely event they were all fully loaded, surely Qantas could've found a spot for him on the dicky-seat? He was probably waiting for that precious upgrade to first class he'd get using all those frequent flier points he accrues by jetting about on RAAF ONE. ScoMo, as a matter of principle, would never take the Thunberg route and return home by sea, given the wind powered sailing time at an average of ten knots from Hawai'i to Port Jackson is 83 days. That said, plenty of people, especially lurking plotters and back-stabbers in the Liberal Party, would have wished he had. In the meantime, DJ Albo is out there manning the BBQ cooking up bacon and eggs for the firies while very sensibly not getting all hot and bothered on the moral high ground, when he had every right to.

Everybody knows our dear Prime Minister is a crass clueless beer swilling slob from The Shire who has an uncanny ability to roll about on the floor while speaking in tongues; nothing new about that and it's beside the point, as are his holidays. ScoMo can only thank his miraculous return to power in the last exercise in the Miracle of Democracy on the fact that "people hate change". He just happened, by complete accident, to be the Big Cheese at the top of the tree of the party that won the election. This vacuum-like vacancy of any kind of Leadership is just another serious character flaw to add to a very long list. Just ask Mr Trundle, he'll tell you. And now the PM leads a Do Nothing Government. It suggests it's only a matter of time before he farks up something so spectacularly that it's fatal to his political career. May that day come sooner rather than later, so ScoMo can scuttle his way back to the obscurity from whence he came with his primate-like tail between his legs.

the dotard has no clothes

Comrades.

No one likes to hear what people are saying about you behind yr back. Especially spoilt children. So, it was no surprise at all to see DJ Trump! chuck a world class tanty, after a "hot mic" caught NATO leaders bagging the him from here to breakfast. [Just a word of advice here chaps, having worked in the electronic media for decades, Rule No.1 is "the microphone is always open" and there is always some sky bastard rolling a tape over it at the other end of the wire]. How would you react to snide remarks about you? Well, all course you would call What Would Justin Do a "two-faced-cunt", and after getting all lovey-dovey with the Kid President during the Bastille Day celebrations in Paris earlier in the year, the one-sided unrequited bromance is over. Of all the NATO/EU leaders, Macron is perhaps the one who hates The Donald's guts the most. DJ! had an astonishing 38 minute press conference with Macron. When he asked the Kid what France was doing about ISIS and Macron made a perfectly sensible reply in his perfectly good English, he got the response from the rude unruly infant in the White House "no wonder he is a successful politician, that's the best non-answer I've ever heard!" The "you are beneath my contempt" look on Emmanuel's face was priceless. ISIS shimish. This from a freak who apparently wants to invite the murderous leaders of the Taliban to Camp David to sort out the Afghanistan question once and for all for his own personal glory. The last POTUS to use Camp David for peace talks was ol' Jimmy Carter who proudly announced that peace had come at last to the Israelis and Palestinians, and look how far they've gone down that road...40 years on. But perhaps the last word should be left to the North Koreans, who have taken exception to The Donald once again using the expression "Little Rocket Man" to describe Fat Boy Kim. If he does it again, they are going to resume calling him a "dotard". The exact quote from North Korean State Media is "if any language and expressions stoking the atmosphere of confrontation are used once again ... that must really be diagnosed as the relapse of the dotage of a dotard.” It's such a lovely word I had to look it up in my copy of the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary. Dotard. n. an old person, especially one who has become physically weak or whose mental faculties have declined.

The Leader of the Free World has always held that NATO is a waste of time, and why wouldn't he? NATO still considers Russia as Enemy No.1 [although they did make mention that they were looking over their shoulder at China in the Trump-less joint communique], when Old Mate Putes is DJ!'s bestie. The Donald loves those old Ruskie election-riggers to bits, inviting them on board to do his dirty work again in 2020. Whinge all you like about NATO not paying its way - the USA has been been paying disproportionately for the defence of Europe ever since the end of WWII. Of course, the Trumpotus would have never heard of the Marshall Plan, and even if he did, he wouldn't be able to make head nor tail of it. Fancy giving away free gratis $US100B in today's money to help rebuild the joint, which US troops had done a mighty job of destroying. He's never read a history book, so he wouldn't feel the need to dust some off down at the Library of Congress. He'd just call it a "very bad deal".

As the winter closes on on DC, Nancy Pelosi's voice is getting hoarse from all the barking orders she's been doing behind closed doors about the purely political process called Impeachment. She's very keen to get it out of the way ASAP. She knows the electorate is getting sick of it, and everyone wants to bring on the main event - the trial in the Senate. The reality TV ratings will be in a stratosphere, when every Senator is asked to walk up to the bench occupied by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and say "yay" or "nay" to the various Articles of Impeachment. It matters not a jot if the Democrats can't get up an absolutely majority plus one; once you have been Impeached, successfully or otherwise, you are a marked man for life. Just ask Clinton, Bill - he'll tell you. And you'd rightly suspect that the Trumpotus has done alot more than leave a simple cum stain on a dress in his time. It might be a Witch Hunt, Kangaroo Court and/or Star Chamber where the rules of evidence don't strictly apply, but the sheer tawdriness of hanging out your dirty laundry will rub off on you.

It was also pleasing to hear that Our Great & Glorious Leader had the plight of bushfire victims in his "thoughts and prayers". No doubt he's down on the floor rolling about and gibbering in tongues about it even as we speak. It's pretty much on a par with that other religious zealot Izzy Folau blaming the conflagration on drunkards, homo's, liars, fornicators, thieves et al. And this from the leader of a classic Do Nothing Government. As the economy, stupid, slides towards an inevitable recession during the US/China trade war, Scomo wants to hear nothing of it. He is very happy in his own comfort zone in the Canberra Bubble, thank you very much, and no one is going to spoil that on his watch. The PM is too busy slashing and burning the Public Service, anyway. What a masterstroke it was to merge the Department of Agriculture with the environment functions from the Department of the Environment and Energy, which now becomes the Department of Dirty Coal. Brilliant! The internal shitfights between the bureaucrats from Environment and Agriculture - who are sworn enemies - will be a sight to behold. The upshot is that the never ending animosity will produce the desired result - absolutely nothing will get done. Until Australia follows the example of Vanuatu - the first country in the region to set up a Department of Climate Change - which will never happen if ScoMo has anything to with it, the Do Nothing Government will continue on its merry way, regardless. At least the suffocating acrid bushfire smoke that has enveloped Sydney over the past few days will have convinced millions of city voters that "something's going on". It's a wonderful world, aint it?

"wild bursts of madness and filigree.”

Comrades,

Can't say the 1000th day of the Presidency of DJ Trump! kept me awake at night, but for some reason it did remind me that pretty early on in his term, the finest legal minds and scholars in the US banged their heads together and determined that a serving POTUS cannot be prosecuted for doing crime, while he/she remains in office. I've always thought Stormy Daniels would be The Donald's downfall - and she may well yet be - not because of the size of his pee-pee - 'cos folks can and do go down to the jailhouse for breaking the campaign finance laws. Stormy won't be written off as 'expenses'. But that aint gonna happen while The Crazy in Chief is in the Oval Office, so the Democrats and other self-appointed Defenders of the Constitution had no other place to go except down Copperhead Road to a place called Impeachment. It was gifted to them on a silver platter. Given that the Trumpotus once famously remarked "I will be remembered for my Foreign Policy" it shouldn't really come as a surprise that The Ukraine would be the first shot over the bow of the Resolute Desk. But really, what odds could you have got on the Ukraine? Currently run by a democratically elected former TV comedian, best known for impersonating the President. What's the chances? Never mind My Mate Vlad the Impaler of the Kremlin, whose Russian imperialistic tendencies have now seen him barge his way right through to the Turkey-Syria-Iraq border, otherwise known as the 'Infernal Triangle'. Russian bomber pilots are having some choice target practice as the US Rangers ride out of town. The Ukrainians seem to be the only people who remember the Crimea, and Ol' Mate Putes has made damned sure that's no longer even a bargaining chip. Forget about The Donald callously abandoning the Kurds, the Yanks have done that before. The Kurds always get fucked-over, by everyone, every time, and they know it.

In the meantime, Chairman Ping of China has no interest in the Middle East, and will put up with Hong Kong until the deal with the UK to hand back the lease fully expires in 2047 and the People's Republic takes complete sovereignty, no questions asked. It's been said that China knows it can do without Hong Kong, but Hong Kong can't do without China, and aint that the truth? It's all a matter of face; insult piled upon insult will wear anybody down over time. If you don't like the party line, then you lose yr ass, baby. And Chairman Ping - the hardcore Commo that he is - is always quick to remind the good burghers of Hong Kong that they never had democracy as a British Crown Colony, so why now? What's all the fuss about? Yakkaty-yak, don't talk back. When the Poms lost the Empire they were staggered that it wasn't just misplaced like car keys, but gone forever. How did it happen on their own watch? Now they risk losing the Union altogether. Scotland is set to make a cheeky exit stage right in the direction of the EU just as soon as they can, giving the all-consumed Brexiteers the bird on the way out, because the United Kingdom will then cease to exist. It will become plain old England and Wales. Northern Ireland has been in a fight over hiving itself off from the Union ever since the Acts of Union [1707], and that's a fair while ago now. Jolly good luck with all of that, chaps.

Forget the hopeless Poms and good ol' down town Honkers for a moment, there's been riots in Baghdad, Barcelona, Beirut, Caracas, Jakarta, Khartoum, Manokwari, Port-au-Prince, and Santiago over the last little while. Fully fighting with trigger happy cops, mainly over the price of bread. The Catalans and West Papuans are on their own. [Surprisingly, there's been no recent rioting in Paris, where you can usually rely on it most weekends]. So, how could a man of such limited intellectual capacity as The Trumpotus even begin to get his strange carrot topped cranium around all that foreign policy shit? His peachy orange bonce is not that big. After all, The Donald has got the foreign policy numbers in a briefcase that follows him around, if some squishy turd really does hit the fan. All he needs to do is pick up the phone and ask "what would Justin do?".

There's now several giant Trump Peach helium balloons to replace the dated Trump Baby, and a zillion kinds of memorabilia to mark a memorable age [available right now on yr Amazon home delivery catalogue]. Impeachment is, of course, the ultimate political process - it is 100% politics. Everybody knows how it's going to end, but being banged up in the US Senate is no fun - no fun at all - just ask Uncle Bill, he'll tell you. People forget that Clinton got done for a lot more than simply agreeing wholeheartedly with the long-standing Papal ideology that "head jobs are OK" [just as long as there is no Tunnel of Love action involved]. So how would it look, this impeachment thingy? At the risk of repeating myself, it is very odd, and has no parallel in other places where assassination is usually the go, or in Australia's case, where "un-electable" leaders are knifed in the back overnight. It's run like a common or garden trial, with the Senate acting as a court of law, to determine the President's guilt or otherwise under the various provisions and amendments to the Constitution. We know that. The Senate, and the President, are permitted to engage legal counsel [called The Managers], to run their cases just like any other trial by calling witnesses and adducing evidence. The Senate is in essence a 100 strong jury, with the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court presiding. And everybody knows what happens when lawyers become involved. An absolute majority is required to convict; 67 votes. Uncle Bill carried on regardless after getting an exact 50-50 split on his second Article of Impeachment. No casting vote required. Doesn't take Einstein to work out that there must be at least twice as many votes for, than against. As it always is in the Miracle of Democracy, it's all about getting the vote. But the votes in the Senate are not, and have never been, secret. Senators are required to individually voice their votes, so a lot of horse trading goes on and much water is passed, and then the Trumpotus proceeds upon his merry way as if nothing had happened, while getting all-a-twitter over "kangaroo courts". Pure politics. And please don't get me started on the remote prospect of President Pence. What an appalling piece of work he is. Hard core and bad to the bone. God help us all if Mighty Mike ever becomes Leader of the Free World.

In any case, a successful impeachment would rob the long suffering Americans of all the fun and games of The Donald on the Campaign Trail. Such brilliant entertainment! What a world class show! He should do Vegas! At his last campaign rally in Lexington, Kentucky, The DJ! descended into hitherto unknown hysterical incoherence [and that's saying something], to wild scenes put on by his Rent-A-Crowd people. It's as if the Crazy in Chief is speaking English words, but in an entirely different language that only his adherents can understand [or can they?]. Linguists must be scratching their heads as we speak wondering if the Trumpotus has invented a whole new Pidgin English, of which he is the only squawker. The Donald knows he's No.1; there's no point to get across, so just bamboozle them with words. So many words. Repeated, again, and again. Making sense just complicates matters. It's a time honoured trick in fascist oratory.

As the clock ticks down to the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November 2020, I've been thinking it's such a shame that Hunter S Thompson is no longer with us. He'd be having a field day writing the sequel to Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail. He'd be on more drugs than The Donald takes to keep him alive, and he'd be drinking powerful concoctions - hold the Diet Coke. So let's leave the last pronouncement to the ol' gonzo - nothing has changed since '72 - “With the truth so dull and depressing, the only working alternative is wild bursts of madness and filigree.”

not only the words, but the meaning

Finnish President Sauli Niinistö and U.S. President Donald Trump at the White House in Washington, 3 October 2019. Photo: Brendan Smialowski/AFP

Comrades,

The two press conferences DJ Trump held with the President of Finland mid-week were a supreme example of The Donald's existential stream-of-consciousness poetry, or as I read somewhere "straight out of the Theatre of the Absurd". Sauli Niinistö did a great job keeping a straight face, but Finish reporters did note that there were times when he struggled very hard not to go into a full-blown Nordic crack-up, which would bring new meaning to the expression LOL. President Niinistö was required to say very little as there was no chance to get a word in edgeways, but when he did, he grabbed the opportunity to take a not so oblique swipe. “Mr. President, you have here a great democracy. Keep it going on.”

Soon after the Trumpotus rigged the Electoral College to achieve the status of Leader of The Free World, I read a fascinating article about the difficulties French translators had in interpreting the utterances of The Donald, as they made no grammatical sense whatever in English, and when put together as a whole, made no sense at all. The French are very particular about words, [very particular, just ask the Académie Française], and after a meeting of minds, the translators decided that there was nothing for it but to translate every single word literally, so DJ! made even less than no sense in French, and there is no doubting that even that is possible.

The Trumpotus is really getting all riled up about the prospect of being impeached, saying [twice] that the Chair of the House Intelligence Committee wouldn't be able to carry the Secretary of State's "blank strap", before going on to say “He should be forced to resign from Congress, Adam Schiff. He’s a lowlife. He should be forced to resign. It was all fabricated. He should resign from office in disgrace. Frankly they should look at him for treason because he is making up the words of the President of the United States. Not only words, but the meaning and it’s a disgrace".

Not only the words, but the meaning. Ah huh. If he was smart, he would use that as his major defence at his upcoming impeachment trial in the Senate, along the lines of 'you can't accuse me of any hokey-pokey with the President of the Ukraine in our "beautiful conversation", or openly encouraging a foreign power to meddle in our elections, by calling on Chairman Ping of China to get all the dirt he can on the low down corruption of the Bidens, because as any French translator will tell you, my words make no sense and congressmen then go around making up words and putting them in the President's mouth, and not only the words, but the meaning, too'. Off the hook, right there.

All that said and done, in private, DJ! was making perfect sense in his phone call to Kiev; The Donald even seems to know what quid pro quo means. Talking like a mobster, the Trumpotus used extortionist gangster style negotiating techniques, "you've gotta give me something I need for the protection I'm offering, otherwise them Ruskies are going to over-run your joint and fuck-you-up-the-arse". That's persausive. Guns for blackmail dirt would make a great raison d'être for any Mafia boss worth his salt. As far as impeachments go, Clinton can be entirely disregaded as precedent, as it all began with a just quick, simple head job in the Oval Office, which let's face it, is very small beer indeed in The Age of Trump. It's better to go back to the appalling Andrew Jackson's impeachment in 1868 [which failed by a single vote in the Senate] as a guideline for "high crimes and misdemenours".

Much has been said on the brain state of the Trumpotus, many accusing him of being mentally ill [which is is not; while he is the quintessential narcissist, in his own mind he knows exactly what he's doing, even if others are not so sure], a more convincing theory is that he is sliding into not-so-early onset dementia.

I have read Donald Hall's illuminating biography Notes of Nearing Ninety [he never made it, dying at 89]. I mention this only because Hall was once a Poet Laureate of the United States and his stated aim in life was "to confuse the hell out of everyone". He remained lucid to the very end. One story struck me. Once a month Hall would visit a dear old friend who was in a nursing home for the demented. His friend would listen to him for hours on end, making pertinent comments here and there. At the end of one conversation he asked his friend if there was anything he could do for him or get for him to which he replied "no, not really, because you know what Donald? I have absolutely no idea who I am". Of course it would be no surprise if DJ Trump! ends up in a State Home for The Bewildered, but it would not be pleasant. He would be a violent, paranoid patient requiring heavy sedation and a straight jacket to protect him from the entire world, which is quite obviously out to get him, big time.

Back on the home front, and Scomo is not doing himself any favors at the moment, going on the campaign trail with The Donald while on his US tour, where the best he could come up with is "we're making jobs great again". That'd be most comforting to the millions of Australians working shit jobs. And overnight he's taken up the Trumpian mantra of "globalisation-is-fucked" in what the ABC reported this morning as a "thinly veiled swipe at the UN". Scomo seems intent on lurching the Liberal Party further to the right than Genghis Khan, especially when he has ministers going around saying any increase to the Newstart allowance would be a gift to drug dealers, and another saying climate change protesters should have their measly social security and student allowances cut to ribbons, not to mention those old male white Tories who privately refer to Greta Thunberg as a "spastic".

It's a wonderful world, aint it?