ScoMo has gone too far this time

Comrades,

Since when did the Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks RLFC become the South Pacific Sharks? They've got Pacific Ocean coastline down there in The Shire, that's for certain, but really? Sure, a lot of big beautiful boofy blokes from the islands play rugby league in Straya, but ScoMo has gone too far this time, in the traditional cross-dressing exercise at APEC, last weekend in Morseby.

Lord Jesus Christ, save us...

Never mind that handing out commemorative tropical leitmotif footy jumpers is as about as tasteful as gifting a hand-knitted Juventus soccer jersey to the Pope, doesn't Our Scott cut a dashing figure on the international stage?

The Prime Minister has such a total grasp of all the fine minutia of diplomacy and foreign policy that it came as no surprise to learn that he was surprised when he found out our major regional trading partner had taken umbrage at his perfectly muddle-headed plan to move the Strayan embassy to Israel from Tel Aviv to it's spiritual home Bethlehem - where it belongs - deep in the heart of the sweet Baby Jesus. How was he to know it wouldn't work with the electors of Wentworth or wash with Jakarta? ScoMo is so on top of it, he might as well just leave the aid budget to Her Excellency The Minister for Foreign Affairs the Hon. Senator Marise Payne, because she well knows, and will tell anyone who'll listen, that the south sea islanders are "only in it for the money".

Who knows what went down in Singapore, but didn't ScoMo do a fine job flying into the Top End with Old Mate Shinzo "the first Japanese Prime Minister to visit Darwin since World War Two" [does that mean one of his predecessors was flying one of the bombers? Never mind]. And what about that fabulous scheme he cooked up with Old Mate Pencey to chuck all the reffo's off Manus Island and move the US Marine Corps straight in to ward off the wicked advances of the Chinese? Brilliant! Of course, nobody would have bothered to ask the good folk of the Admiralty Islands what the think of it, but that's neither here nor there. They're probably heathens anyway. Now, Our Scott is hosting the President of India, the first to ever make a State Visit here, so it's big. God, the three-ringed circus never ends. The PM likely got some choice kangaroo cuts curried up for him for dinner last night at Admiralty House. Likes to impress, does ScoMo. And tonight they're going to the cricket together at The G. Woo! Hoo! Just in time to hit the hustings, the scallywag.
In the meantime, the Miracle of Democracy really has gone wild in Melbourne, where the Greens - who have a peculiar "toxic culture problem" - are in a death fight with the governing Pinko's for the hipster/yuppie scum vote in the bellwether battleground seats of Brunswick and Richmond. My Spy on the Ground in the seat of Richmond has been besieged by doorknockers to the point where she can barely go out for the shouting mobs of rent-a-crowd campaign workers milling around outside. The Greens have been caught on yr social meejah calling out a perfectly honourable female Liberal MP as a "disgusting bitch-faced slug-parrot", and by all reports Pinko campaign posters have been defaced with lurid green coloured unauthorised stickers saying VOTE-ONE-FOR-A-FUCKED-FUTURE. The authorities, quite rightly, want to know what little shit's done that.

Be that as it may, running down the lists of candidates, I was most disappointed to see that the Australian Sex Party has now somehow morphed into Fiona Patten's Reason Party while no-one was looking. WTF, is an over-used phrase, but hey? What is the reason? Is this a clever ploy to confuse and deceive lily-white innocent voters into casting their ballots in favour of filth?

At least this fine upstanding Melburnian wannabe pollie pulls no punches in his election advertising...

As a footnote, it was pleasing to see the Victorian Electoral Commission release this map clearly defining the demographics of the most hotly contested region of Victoria to assist psephologists in the whirl-wind of tomorrow night's tally room.:The enemy are at the gates! To the boxes!