ScoMo the BoZo

Comrades,

What a week it was on the campaign trail!

ScoMo hasn't been having a great time of it, with our Great & Glorious Leader being marked down at 0-3 by the Official Adjudicators in the Great Debates. And didn't they get on to some truly bizarre topics to captivate the nation, with the Tongue Speaker in Chief at one stage banging on about how good Big Mac's are for the economy [although, perhaps not so great for the bowel movements]. Everyone's been waiting for the "defining moment" on the hustings, but who would have thought the Tories' coup de grâce would come that most unlikely of quarters - Old Mate Rupes in NYC. News Ltd's bald faced blunder to go for Uncle Bill's jugular by delivering a way below-the-belt low blow to his dead mother was a classic example of a Dirt Unit bereft of dirt. What were they thinking? Unless yr a filthy sleazebag or a kiddie fiddler, the Australian voter does not like nasty personal politics, doesn't like it all.

And that's after the party apparatchiks had wheeled Uncle Bill out onto Q & A, with strict directions "Shut up Bill. If you have to talk, for goodness sake try to sound human and don't go off piste. And whatever you do, don't be yr old union leader self and start haranguing them - as soon as you do that, people will never listen". He did OK with his Instructions from Trades Hall.

So, as it stands, the Pinko's are a dead-set shoe-in, with the Poll Bludger currently giving Labor an 15 seat majority based on a scientific analysis of the latest opinion polls down to the third decimal point, and Uncle Bill is a raging red-hot odds-on $1.14 favourite [ScoMo $5.50] down at the books to become the next PM.

Never mind Solidarity Forever, everybody loves a winner, so take the tip from this traffic light control box seen yesterday deep in Commo Country down in Enmore: