"this is not free money"

Comrades,

Found myself watching the morning news on the telly today to see how goes the battle, when I was alarmed to hear Our Great & Glorious Leader promise that the long-suffering tax payer will pick up the bill for young folk's mortgage insurance in a desperate bid for the Millennial Vote. The clown has clearly gone barking mad, as it sounds like a misguided socialist policy for mine. "This is not free money". Really? Under Scomonomics, a 5% deposit on a million bucks is still fifty grand. In Sydney, that wouldn't buy you much more than a broom cupboard, and no Millennial I know has that much in lazy cash to stuff under the mattress. And in any case, the thieving banks won't have a bar of it. Back to square one. Perhaps ending more than a decade of wage stagnation might be another way?

"After taxing you to death, Labor wants to reduce the value of your home. Across the board". I have a simpler way to do it, ScoMo. What if I came around this week and sat on the front lawn of your place down in The Shire? That would instantly reduce your property value, by plenty. Guaranteed. No lie.

In the meantime, the pre-poll voting places are abuzz as the rusted-on and the Too Busy On Saturday wander in and out in dribs and drabs to cast their ballots, but the word on the street is that everybody wants your vote.

As an example, just in the inner-west of the Emerald City, you can see what I mean here:

And remember, for democracy's sake, vote early, vote often.