a tremendous honour

 

 Comrades,

What with a Pandemic on, little news coverage was given yesterday to the fact that DJ Trump! has awarded our very own Great & Glorious Leader, Scott Morrison, the Legion of Merit.

Oooh, I thought, that sounds good. Wow. The Legion of Merit, eh? It must be a tremendous honour for all the hard work that ScoMo has put into sucking up to the current Presidential Administration by alienating and antagonising China as much as he possibly can as he leads the chorus on finding out once and for all who to sheet the blame home to over the China Virus. And if ScoMo were not enough, that Mad Mr Modi Sir of rabid Hindu Nationalism fame and the former PM of Japan, Shinzo Baby - one of the DJ's many golfing buddies - were also gonged.

However, as it turns out, the Legion of Merit is as common as muck. If I were ScoMo (heaven forbid) I would be insulted and flick it away with "is that all I get?" - little wonder Scotty from Marketing has made no comment on the award and how honoured he must be to cop one. The Legion of Merit was established by Congress in 1942 on the basis that "the decoration is issued to members of the eight uniformed services of the United States, as well as to military and political figures of foreign governments" for "exceptionally meritorious conduct in the performance of outstanding service". So, ScoMo just squeezes in for being "foreign". But as pretty as the LOM might look, it really is a shit medal.

It is seventh in the order of precedence in US military decorations, and is routinely awarded to anyone who achieves the rank of general officer, colonel, flag officer, or captain in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy and Air Force, and it can also be awarded to non-commissioned officers such as chief petty officers and quartermasters as a form of long service medal. And it can be awarded more than once, in which case you get an oak leaf cluster. Only the Air Force limits the awarding of the Legion of Merit to the same officer to four times. For everyone else, the sky's the limit.

Oh well, at least the two are best pals, and have a few things in common. The Donald has much sympathy with ScoMo over the most unfortunate Engadine Macca's Incident, as the current President of the United States himself has been known to regularly shit himself violently, filling his incontinence bag with partly digested cheeseburgers whenever he considers the prospect of the jail house awaiting him when he leaves the White House. Be that as it may, I personally can't wait to see the thing pinned to ScoMo's breast when he next enters the Parliament looking like a right tin-pot dictator, as Arfur would have made dead sure it's in the diplomatic bag by now in time for Xmas delivery...