i no longer world's craziest leader, i with the giant continental rabbit

February's 'Word of the Month'?


CRAZY

"May you live in interesting times"


(originally published 01-02-17)

it'll all end up in the courts

Read a long story the other day about a professional American muck-raker who is as mad as hell and is not going to take it anymore, David Brock.
He has raised about $US38M and hired 100+ top shelf litigation lawyers between last November and now, "to tie up President Trump in as many legal knots as possible".
This is the dude:

Immigration ban faces more legal challenges

"San Francisco became the first US city to sue to challenge a Trump directive to withhold federal money from US cities that have adopted sanctuary policies toward undocumented immigrants, which local officials argue help local police by making those immigrants more willing to report crimes.

"Massachusetts joined the legal battle against Trump's order banning travel into the United States by citizens of seven Muslim-majority countries, a move the White House described as necessary to improve national security. A lawsuit contends that the order violated the US Constitution's guarantees of religious freedom.

"The legal maneuvers were the latest acts of defiance against executive orders signed by Trump last week that sparked a wave of protests in major US cities, where thousands of people decried the new president's actions as discriminatory."



(originally published 01-02-17)

Fillon in a jam

Comrades,

Pay €500,000 of public money to the wife to make excellent Welsh jam for yr breakfast baguette.
"Imaginez un instant qu'un homme politique dit qu'une femme sait comment faire de la confiture. Les féministes crier!"
First class effort, that.


http://www.thelocal.fr/20170125/politician-pays-wife-half-a-million-euros-so-what-this-is-france

(originally published 31-01-17)

Constitutional justice be done

Kiefel sworn in as Chief Justice of the High Court:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-01-30/susan-kiefel-sworn-in-as-first-female-high-court-chief-justice/8222868

Not only must Constitutional justice be done, it must also be seen to been done:

"Chief justices, like the other justices, give a part of their lives to the service of this court and thereby to the people of Australia," she said.
"That service is not given for the purpose of personal acknowledgement or the enhancement of reputation."
"It is given to ensure that this court is maintained as an institution in which the Government, the legislature, the legal profession and the people of Australia can have confidence."

(originally published 30-01-17)

...just beautiful

Comrades,

This has to be the last word, doesn't it?
This is gonna be inn-sane, absolootlee reee-dick-you-louse!
Never mind the freaks from those seven Muslim Islamic Terrorist countries - bureaucratic nightmare - you gotta love the fantastic idea The President Donald has come up with as a way for those total scumbag Mexicans to pay for the big, beautiful, wall.
A 20% sales tax on all imported Mexican goods.
All of them.
Brilliant!
That's huge!
There goes the chipotle!
Total Losers.
Great Americans will refuse to buy Mexican goods [including a massive shit-load of beer and America currently drinks north of 80% of Mexico's tequila] on principle and it's now way too expensive anyway even if they wanted to = no sales tax collected = no money to pay for the wall = arse falls out of Mexican peso = Mexican economy lies in ruins = tremendous smuggling operation = millions of hungry economic refugees in a mass exodus north = American defensive positions easily over-run by the seething hordes of freeloading Barbarians, who suffer appalling unprecedented casualties.
Brilliant!
Why didn't I think of that?
The New World Order; you're gonna love it, love it, it'll be great, it's true.

BTW...here's a photograph [it's real, no fake, no photo-shop, no, no] of a part of the USA/Mexico border down in the Big Bend of the Great State of Texas...seems like the wall's already been built while no-one was watching.
Oops.
But.
Isn't it fantastic, beautiful...just beautiful?

(originally published 29-01-17)

the world is watching, too

Comrades,

Aw, c'mon, stop worrying and pulling yr hair out.
Learn to love The Bomb, the smell of napalm in the morning, and have a laarf on me!
It's gonna be great, huge, fantastic...yr gonna love it...it's true.
And the world is watching, too...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELD2AwFN9Nc&feature=youtu.be


(originally published 27-01-17)

"chips become unaffordable as shocking potato crisis hits"

Comrades,

Even I can wrIte fake/false/alternative news headlines:


CHIPS BECOME UNAFFORDABLE AS SHOCKING POTATO CRISIS HITS!!

http://www.smh.com.au/business/potato-shortage-never-this-bad-farmers-20170125-gtymn3.html




(originally published 26/01/17)

another executive order overturning the temporary court imposed halt on the Dakota Access Pipeline

Comrades,

Re: the customary executive order viz a viz abortion -- just a routine thing going back to the ol' "Mexico City Policy" of '84 there - all the Trumpotus wants to do is go back to the "old days" when America was great!

http://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/abortion/315652-trump-signs-executive-order-reinstating-global-gag-rule-on

Said so himself.
More to the point, The Donald has also signed another executive order overturning the temporary court-imposed halt on the Dakota Access Pipeline.
Both of those orders will now be heading straight to the SOO-PREEME COURT to work out constitutional validilty.
i.e "nothing will happen".

Don't know if I ever sent you this video of some Maori who turned out on Gisbourne beach in NZ to show solidarity for the Standing Rock protesters in North Dakota.
It's a classic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCVg3Av6uRQ






(originally published 25-01-17)

executive orders

Comrades,

Gawd.
It's going to get VERY VERY BORING if the camera's are allowed in to film the POTUS sign every Executive Order he makes - starting with one do to with something no-one in the States, and probably the whole world, has ever heard of.


http://www.afr.com/opinion/columnists/why-investors-are-right-to-worry-about-donald-trump-dumping-the-tpp-20170123-gtxckz

Obama knocked out 277 numbered Executive Orders in his time.
That's in eight years.
The Donald is going to get very cranky indeed when everyone, including his best mates in the press, just start ignoring him completely.
He MUST be seen to be doing SOMETHING on the telly EVERYDAY.
When that stops happening, and it'll only take a couple of weels, look out for some top-shelf stewing in his own juices.
He'll start throwing Ming Dynasty vases around his flat in the gilded Tower of Babble.
Obama could go AWOL for weeks at a time without so much as a tweet, and no-one thought it unusual.
Welcome to the US Presidency, DJ, where "nothing happens" - in a hurry.


(originally published 24-10-17)

we got The Bomb

Drinkers For Disarmament,

The Donald does not approve of how much Washington is spending on putting together a new Air Force One...it's north of $US4BILLION.
Just wait until The Trumpotus gets a load of the stupendous cost of THE BOMB.
Two words - Nuclear Farking Weapons - don't come cheap.
Just ask Her Majesty's Royal Navy.
£17M alone just to get the Intercontinental Ballistic Missile air-borne, and that's without even any thermonuclear bomba thingy's hanging off the pointy end.
Then it does a wild and crazy flippin' spooked out spastic moon walk, and the bloke with the c.1977 hand-held control console doesn't have the slightest clue what's goin'.


https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/22/mod-cannot-fall-back-on-usual-excuses-to-explain-trident-misfire

Don't know about you, but that scares the almighty poop-shit right outta me.
Bugger climate change - there goes the planet - right there.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trident_(missile)

Crikey!

PS. A rather spectacular Trident fail-at-launch back in the day:





(originally published 23/01/17)

The Donald is a Dog

Looks like The Donald, who is a Dog in the Chinese Zodiac, is in for a good year if he stays "modest", but he could lose some cash, and there is also the sad chance of dying in office due to some "ailments".
Then in 2018, which is the Year of the Dog, it all goes to shit.

From China Travel Guide, which is a good source for mine, as it's 100% approved by the Chinese Communist Party:

"People born in the Year of Dog have a good fortune in 2017. As long as they work hard, they are likely to make progress and get promoted in the work. Their fortune in wealth is not very satisfying, so it is better avoid high-risk investments. They can keep a good relationship with others in 2017 if they are modest and willing to listen to others’ opinions. Their health might be affected by some ailments. The remedy is to keep a regular schedule and do more exercise."

(originally published 22-01-17)

trot up to the inauguration podium

Nice one here from Leon Trotsky; given new meaning in the light of what is about to happen in DC.
Trotters was the original Gonzo.
HS Thompson couldn't have said it better.

“Fascism has opened up the depths of society for politics. Today, not only in peasant homes but also in city skyscrapers, there lives alongside of the twentieth century the tenth or the thirteenth. A hundred million people use electricity and still believe in the magic power of signs and exorcisms. The Pope of Rome broadcasts over the radio about the miraculous transformation of water into wine. Movie stars go to mediums. Aviators who pilot miraculous mechanisms created by man’s genius wear amulets on their sweaters. What inexhaustible reserves they possess of darkness, ignorance, and savagery! Despair has raised them to their feet and fascism has given them a banner. Everything that should have been eliminated from the national organism in the form of cultural excrement in the course of the normal development of society has now come gushing out from the throat; capitalist society is puking up the undigested barbarism.”

And he was hipper than hip, man, way before his time:

(originally published 20-01-17)

fireworks action

Troublemakers,

You gotta love world diplomacy.
Looks like That Mad Bastard running the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is about to do some fireworks action and let off one helluva skyrocket known as the Intercontinental Ballistic Missile to celebrate the ascension of The Trumpotus to the Throne of Leader of The Free World.
What a jolly jape, all good fun, wot ho?
But here's a nice one coming straight at DJ from the Czech Republic, of all places:


http://www.picturesofwalls.com/gallery.asp?album=1&id=290


(originally published 20-01-17)

nothing will happen

Comrades,

Trust y'all be up at Sparrow's Fart to make a cup of tea, switch the telly on, and watch tomorrow's 4am US Presidential Inauguaration of Donald J. Trump - who goes from shonky property developer to reality TV star to PEOTUS to POTUS in one fell swoop.
Welcome to the Brave New World!
Yr gonna love it.
Trust me on this one.
The only certainty about becoming President of the United States is that, one day, you will either die in office, or become a former President of the United States - just ask my mate Obes.
According to Barack H. Obama, one of the hallmark's of American democracy is the "peaceful and effective transition of power", with the emphasis on the word power.
And so it is.
For one day in every four years, there's no fighting or squabbling; that comes later.
Stumbled on a salient quote mid-week about the last US President to be elected, without before-hand being elected to any other Government post, Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower back in '53.
The outgoing President Harry S. Truman is reported to have said:

"He'll sit here, and he'll say, 'Do this! Do that!', and nothing will happen. Poor Ike - it won't be a bit like the Army. He'll find it very frustrating."

Everything old is new again.
Hang on for the ride.

(originally published 20-01-17)

Bairdsey - stabbed in the back by his own

Comrades,

Was roused from my T20 cricket hangover, only to be told by a joyous Good Lady Wife that M.Baird had announced he'd been "pushed" on "social media".
Joy to the world, or NSW at least.
Forgive me for gloating, but did I not say on the day the dude unilaterally banned the dogs, claiming the poor pooches had lost their "social licence", that that would be the end of him?
Mikey would have to do a triple backflip, with twist and pike on that one, and his position would become untenable?
The Country Party rump was never going to cop it.
The Orange by-election debacle was the icing on the political death cake.
You just can't go around interfering with folks' perfectly fundamental and legal right to go about farming-the-land-to-fuck, fishin' out the big ones, shootin' wild animals, and punting on the greyhounds.
It's not on.
In the denouement, Bairdsey was the one who lost his "social licence" and all his political capital, to boot.
Simple as that.
The silly lock-out law nonsense was just a sideshow - a first world hipster problem.
And sensibly, the workers kept right out of it, knowing full well that he'd be stabbed in the back by his own, Caeser-style.
The lasting legacy of the man who wanted to build everything, at tremendous taxpayer expense, will be the tram line to no-where, the gigantic WestConnex cock-up, and the vast number of apartment blocks that will become slums or lie half-built and abandonded as the tumble-weeds blow along the Sydenham-Bankstown Development Corridor in the years to come, forever changing the face of the beloved Emerald City.
Thanks for that, Mike.
On the upside, one less fascist to deal with.
The Miracle of Democracy strikes again.

PS. Wonder if Mike knows where Fatty's bottle of Grange is?


(originally published 19-01-17)

here we go again

Here we go again.


http://www.inquisitr.com/3857093/mysterious-marijuana-illness-spikes-in-legalized-states/

Wowsers on the tail of Midnight Tokers.
What's new?
Shock! Horror! All of a sudden, without warning, spectacular projectile vomiting breaks out en-masse all over US states that have just legalised pot.
The law change happened yesterday, and yet it's only "long-term heavy-users" who are debilitated by this wicked, shameful, filthy disease.
By that account, old stoners should have been spraying hospital emergency departments with vile spew for many decades, and yet it's only happening now?
How very strange indeed.
I've been a chronic "user" of L'herbe superbe for 40 years, and the only things that have ever made me chunder are an off oyster, too many tequila slammers, or a gutful of goon.
But I do love the "cure" - take a long hot bath, son, and she'll be right...man.
I'm getting in the tub right now just in case I am struck down by The Lord with the ol' pukey up-chuck syndrome, in vengeance for my sins.
Spare me.

(originally published 6-1-17)

CRAZY CRAVES' TOP 20 OBITUARIES

It comes that time of year when I usually publish CRAZY CRAVES' TOP 20 OBITUARIES; cheery one liners paying tribute to some of the departed.
But this year I'm not.
Last year I got so much flak and back-chat from people complaining "why did you leave her out?" or "why didn't you put Omar Sharif in?" or more commonly "what'd he ever do?"
Joisus, peoples, what do you want?
On average, about 56 million folk drop off the twig every year.
As I pointed out 12 months ago, it's a very personal list anyway; usually people who may or may not have had a major influence on my life, they may be famous or completely obscure, or they could just be plain human beings who led interesting lives in their own right and may or may not have met unusual fates - that's the only criteria for inclusion, oh, and a few deceased animals thrown in for good measure to placate the bloody vegans.
Make up yr own Top 20 dammit - I'm through with editing - so this year, instead, I give you....

CRAZY CRAVES' TOP 111 OBITUARIES 2016

*January*

Bob Oatley AO, 87, January 10, Sydney. Champion Australian yachtsman, boat owner, vintner, billionaire property developer. Owner of the Wild Oats series of yatchs. Brief illness.
David Bowie, 69, January 16, New York. Eccentric musician, singer/songwriter, artist, actor, superstar. Sold 140+ million albums world-wide. Turned down a knighthood 2003. Liver cancer
Yasutaro Koide, 112, January 17, Nagoya, Japan. Japanese centenarian. World's oldest man, to that point. “The best thing to do is avoid overwork and live with joy.” Pneumonia. Ancientism.
Dale Griffen, 67, January 17, London. British musician. Mott the Hoople drummer. Alzheimer's disease.
Glenn Frey, 67, January 18, New York. Musician, co founder of the Eagles. Complications from rheumatoid arthritis, acute ulcerative colitis and pneumonia.
Cu Rua [Great-Grandfather Turtle], Indeterminate age, January 19, Hanoi. Sole surviving Yangtze giant turtle in Hoan Kiem Lake. Found belly up on the shores weighing 163kg. Legend has it the turtle cast magic spells to help repel armies of invading Chinese in the 15th century. Extreme old age.
Henry Worsley, 55, January 24, Antarctica. Eccentric British adventurer. Dropped dead after 71 days on the ice within 48km of his target of becoming the first person to trek solo and unaided across Antarctica. Peritonitis.
Sir Terry Wogan KBE, DL, 77, January 30, Taplow, Buckinghamshire. British radio broadcaster, entertainer, royalist. Most popular breakfast radio host in the UK [1993-2009]. 35 year long television English language announcer at the Eurovision Song Contest. Undisclosed cancer.
Benoit Violier, 44, January 31, Crissier, Switzerland. French chef and restauranteur of Le Restaurant de l'Hôtel de Ville. Shot himself one month after restaurant named by French Goverment in La Liste as "best in world". Suicide.

*February*

Maurice White, 74, February 3, Los Angeles. American musician and band leader. Founder of Earth, Wind & Fire. Sold 90 million albums world wide. Parkinson's Disease.
Dan Hicks, 74, February 6, Mill Valley, California. American singer-songwriter, band leader of Chris Hicks and the Hot Licks. Throat and Liver cancer.
Viola Beach, various ages, February 6, Stockholm. Popular British "indie" rock band and manager all killed after driving off opening bridge and plummeting 25m into frozen river. Impact injuries, drowning.
Antonin Scalia, 79, February 13, Big Bend, Texas. Serving US Supreme Court Justice. Died in his sleep, after a day of quail shooting. Natural Causes.
Boutros Boutros-Ghali, 93, February 16, Cairo. Egyptian Former UN Secretary-General, nicknamed "The Pharaoh". Complications of a fractured pelvis after fall.
Harper Lee, 89, February 19, Monroeville, Alabama. American Pullitzer Prize winner [1960] for novel To Kill a Mockingbird, selling 40+ million copies. Natural causes.

*March*

Martin Crowe MBE, 53, March 3, Auckland. Former New Zealand cricket captain. Widely regarded as the country's greatest ever batsman. Lymphoma.
Sarah Tait, 33, March 3, Melbourne. Three-time Australian Olympian. London [2008] silver medalist in rowing. Cervical cancer.
Paul Couch, 51, March 5, Near Apollo Bay, Victoria. Former Australian Rules footballer. Brownlow Medal winner [1989]. 259 games for Geelong. Fell off his bicycle stone dead. Cardiac arrest.
Ray Tomlinson, 74, March 5, Lincoln, Massacusetts. American inventor of the prototype of modern e-mail [1971]. Inductee of "Internet Hall of Fame". Known to his friends as "Prof @". Cardiac Arrest.
Nancy Reagan, 94, March 6, Los Angeles. Former American First Lady and philanthropist. Wife of 40th President of the United States, Ronald Reagan. Congestive heart failure.
Ross Hannaford, 65, March 8, Melbourne. Australian musician, eccentric. Guitarist with hit Australian band Daddy Cool. Regarded as the "slowest guitarist in Melbourne" and nicknamed the "The Robot". Undisclosed cancer.
Sir George Martin CBE, 90, March 9, London. British audio artist and sound engineer. Produced almost the entire Beatles catalogue. Author of autobiography All you Need is Ears. Went stone deaf in his later years. Burnt out. Old age.
Jon English, 66, March 9, Newcastle, NSW. British-born Australian entertainer. Singer-songwriter. Television Personality. Musical actor. 1983-1985 "Entertainer of the Year" MO awards. Complications of cardiac surgery.
Sir Ken Adam OBE, 95, March 10, London. British WWII fighter aircraft ace, motion picture set designer. Built the largest sound stage in the world [1977]. Designed the "war room" in the motion picture Dr Strangelove. Designed 7 James Bond films. Won two Oscars. Brief illness. Old age.
Keith Emerson, 70, March 10, Santa Monica, California. American musician, songwriter. Founder of 1970's "supergroup" Emerson, Lake & Palmer. Suicide by gunshot.
Frank Sinatra Jr, 72, March 16, Daytona Beach, Florida. American kidnap victim. Son of Frank Sinatra. Cardiac Arrest.
Rob Ford, 46, March 22, Toronto, Canada. Colourful Canadian political identity. Former crack-cocaine smoking Mayor of Toronto. Pleomorphic Liposarcoma.
Johan Gruyff, 68, March 24, Barcelona, Spain. Dutch international soccer player and serial chain-smoker. Regarded as one of the best association football players of the 20th century. Inventor of "Total Football", revolutionising club coaching methods. Lung cancer.
Ronnie Corbett CBE, 85, March 31, London. British television comedian, entertainer, film actor. One half of the "Two Ronnies". Motor neurone disease.
Imre Kertesz, 86, March 31, Budapest. Obscure Hungarian novelist. Holocaust survivor. Won Nobel Prize for Literature [2002]. Chronic illness.

*April*

Bob "Comrade" Ellis, 73, April 3, Sydney. Australian author, playwright, essayist, critic, film maker, speech writer, red flag waving rascal, failed politician, hobo, serial womaniser, drinker, provocateur, raconteur, scholar, gentleman. Liver cancer.
The Right Reverend Bishop Ronald Mulkearns, 85, April 3, Melbourne. Catholic bishop emeritus of Ballarat. Notorious cockatoo for buggering priests. Royal Commission witness. Never saw evil. Meat sickness, colorectal cancer.
Kerrie Lester, 63, April 5, Sydney. Australian artist. Perennial finalist in the Archibald Prize, twice runner-up, never won. Leukemia.
Merle Haggard, 79, April 6, Palo Cedro, California. American country music singer-songerwiter. Pioneer of the "Bakersfield Sound" and later "outlaw country". 38 No.1 singles on US Country Music charts. Lung cancer, pneumonia.
Dennis "Howard" Marks, 70, April 10, Leeds, England. Oxford-educated Welsh author, drug smuggler. Busted and jailed for seven years in the US for running legendary hashish and cannabis international import/export racket in the 70's & 80's. Author of best-selling autobiography Mr Nice and The Howard Marks Book of Dope Stories. Colorectal cancer.
Prince Rogers Nelson aka The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, 57, April 21, Chanhassen, Minnestota. American singer-songwriter, musician, seven times Grammy award winner, superstar. Fenatyl overdose, complications of prescription drug addiction, chronic pain, influenza, pneumonia, cardiac arrest, Zika virus.
Tony Munro, 52, April 23, Sydney. Australian cricket journalist and dwarf. Stature 4'2". Reported on cricket in small nations around the world for ESPN. Stroke.
Jenny Diski, 68, April 27, Cambridge, England. Professional pessimist. English critic, prolific author, schoolteacher, novelist, essayist, eccentric. Who's Who list of recreations “taking baths, middle-distance staring, and pain management". Lung cancer.
David Page, 55, April 29, Sydney. Contemporary Australian composer in theatre, film and television. Playwright. Musical Director of Bangarra Dance Theatre. Cause of death unknown, suspected suicide.
Daniel Berrigan, 94, April 30, New York City. American Jesuit priest, poet, anti-war activist. Principally known for doing jail time with his brother in 1971 after setting fire to Vietnam draft files with home-made napalm in protest. Old age.

*May*

Isao Tomita, 84, May 5, Tokyo. Japanese musical techno-whiz. Internationally renowned "father" of Japanese electronic music. Best known for shape-shifting classical music in the '60 & 70's. Congestive heart failure.
Reg Grundy AC OBE, 92, May 8, Bermuda. Australian media mogul, television producer and enterpenuer. Invented The Wheel of Fortune in 1957. Produced smash hit TV series such as the Young Doctors, Prisoner, Sons & Daughters, Neighbours. Natural causes.
Jonathan Cainer, 58, May 10, London. British astrologer with 12 milliion readers. Told the future six days a week in Britain's Daily Mail, Sydney's Daily Telegragh, Melbourne's Herald Sun, and the Botswana Echo. Cocaine-induced cardiac arrest.
Tony Cozier, 75, May 11, Bridgetown, Barbados. West Indian cricket historian, author, journalist, broadcaster and media commentator. Sepsis.
Cindy Waldron, 46, May 29, Thornton Beach, Queensland. Careless New Zealand-born tourist. Devoured whole by saltwater crocodile. Eaten.

*June*

Cassius Clay aka Muhammad Ali, 74, June 3, Phoenix, Arizona. American Champion of the World. Olympic gold medalist [1960]. Three-time world heavyweight boxing champion. Conscientious objector. Complications of Parkinson's Disease.
Christina Grimmie, 22, June 11, Orlando, Florida. Third-rate American cover song singer. Shot to death by own fan while signing autographs after concert. Murdered.
Phillip Cox, 76, June 19, Sydney. Dutch-born Australian film maker, auteur, photographer, author. Liver cancer followed by liver transplant followed by liver cancer.
Greg Pierce, 66, June 24, Terrigal NSW. Former Australian rugby league captain. 210 games for Cronulla-Sutherland. Cancer of the throat and oesophagus.
Bill Cunnigham, 87, June 25, New York City. Eccentric American street photographer. 40 year long fashion photographer for the New York Times. Legion of Honor recipient. Until his death, a Living Landmark of New York. Stroke.

*July*

Elie Wiesel, 87, July 2, New York City. Romanian-born Nobel Peace Prize winner [1986]. Presidential Medal of Freedom and Legion of Honour recipient. Author, political activist, Holocaust survivor. Chronic illness.
Michel Rocard, 85, July 2, Paris, France. Former French Prime Minister [1988-1991]. Champion of the French Left for five decades. Architect of the Matignon Accords [1988]. Aneurysm.
Michael Cimino, 77, July 2, Los Angelos. American Oscar winning film director and screen writer. Directed the biggest box office flop in cinematic history Heaven's Gate [1980]. Died in his sleep. Natural causes.
Lady Susan Renouf, 76 [?], July 15, Melbourne. Australian socialite, philanthropist, serial gold-digger and divorcee. Former wife of Andrew Peacock, Robert Sangster, and Sir Frank Renouf. Ovarian cancer, kidney failure.

*August*

Elyse Miller-Kennedy, 19, August 10, Townsville, QLD. Finalist in 2016 Miss World Australia competition. Motor crash.
Dalian Atkinson, 24, August 15, Telford, England. Former English Premier League and European soccer player. Death by police high-voltage taser.
Kenny Baker, 81, August 13, Preston, England. British actor and professional dwarf. Played R2-D2 in the Star Wars franchise. Stature 3'8". Chronic illnesses.
Toots Theilmans, 94, August 24, Brussels. Belgian musican and composer. Jazz harmonica player, whistler, scat-singer. Wrote the initial theme music for Sesame Street which lasted 40 years. Complications of a fall.
Gene Wilder, 83, August 29, Stamford, Connecticut. American Hollywood actor, comedian, author, director, screenwriter. Complications of Alzheimer's Disease.
Abu Muhammad al-Adnani, 41, August 30, Aleppo, Syria. Syrian ISIS media warlord and high-profile public relations director. Tactical air strike. Assassinated.

*September*

Isam Karimov, 78, September 2, Tashkent, Uzbekistan. President of Uzbekistan. Popular dictactor in un-elected power for 25 years. All round despot. Died in office. Stroke.
Richard Neville, 74, September 4, Byron Bay, New South Wales. Professional ratbag. Australian author, social commentator, scholar, gentleman. Co-publisher of Oz Magazine in 1964. Star witness and accused at long running obscenity trial. Complications of Alzheimer's Disease.
Prince Buster, 78, September 8, Miama, Florida. Jamaican musician. Widely regarded as the pioneer of ska and rocksteady music. Complications of strokes and congestive heart disease.
Norman "Nugget" May, AM, 88, September 11, Sydney. Australian radio and television sports commentator [1957-1984]. Commentated on 11 Olympic Games. Famous for single line at Moscow [1980] "four, three, two, one ... Gold! Gold to Australia! Gold!" Member Australian Sports Hall of Fame. Old age. Burnt out.
W.P. Kinsella, 81, September 16, Hope, British Colombia. Canadian novelist. Author of Shoeless Joe adapted into motion picture "Field of Dreams". Assisted suicide.
Edward Albee, 88, September 16, Montauk, New York. American playright. Three-time Pullitzer Prize winner. Regarded as the last dramatist to shape-shift American culture in the 20st century. Author of Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf. Died in his sleep. Natural Causes.
Ron Massey, 86, September 18, Sydney. Australian Rugby League mentor, advisor and legend. Regarded as having the "sharpest mind in football". Chronic illnesses.
Bill Mollison, 88, September 24, Hobart. Australian scientist, academic, author, revolutionary agronomist. Considered the world wide pioneer of permaculture agricultural systems. Natural causes.
Arnold Palmer, 87, September 25, Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. American golf legend. Nicknamed "The King". One of the three "all time greats". Winner of seven Major tournaments, including four US Masters. Played at least one professional tournament for 52 consecutive years. Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient. Complications of cardiac surgery.
José Fernández, 24, September 25, Miami, Florida. Cuban-born American baseballer. Regarded as the best young pitcher prospect of the century. Attempted defection from Cuba to the USA three times by boat before successful immigration. Recreational boating accident.
Max Walker AM, 68, September 28, Melbourne. Former Australian test cricketer, Australian Rules footballer, architect, author, scholar, gentleman. 34 Test matches for Australia. Three seasons in World Series Cricket. 85 matches Melbourne VFL Club. Nicknamed "Tangles" for unique, unorthodox bowling style. Author of 14 books including How to Hypnotise Chooks. Melanoma.
Shimon Peres, 93, September 28, Tel Aviv. Joint Nobel Peace Prize winner [1994]. Former Israeli Prime Minister and President. Stroke.
Jim Kilroy, 94, September 29, Los Angeles. American property developer, philanthropist, yachtsman. Owner and skipper of maxi-yacht Kialoa II, which set the Sydney-Hobart race record in 1975, which stood for 21 years. Old age.

*October*

Trịnh Thị Ngọ aka "Hanoi Hannah", 87, Ho Chi Minh City, October 3. Vietnamese radio broadcaster. Famous for popular English language propaganda and music show on Radio Hanoi during the Vietnam War. Cause of death unknown.
Rebecca Wilson, 54, Sydney, October 7. Australian sports journalist, outspoken radio broadcaster, television personality. Breast cancer.
Ross Higgins, 85, Melbourne, October 7. Australian singer, radio and television comedic actor. Famous for starring role as Ted Bullpit in pioneering sit-com Kingswood Country [1980-84]. Chronic illness.
John Gleeson, 78, Tamworth, NSW, October 8. Former Australian test cricketer. 27 test matches for Australia [1967-73] as a "mystery spinner". Once insured his right hand for $10,000. Chronic illness.
His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej aka Rama IX, 88, Bangkok, October 13. King of Thailand. Commander of Royal Thai Army. Philanthropist, author, inventor, musician, yachtsman and boat-builder. World's longest serving monarch and head of state, having been on the Thai throne for 70 years and 126 days at the time of his death. Richest man in the world in 2008. Pneumonia, kidney failure.
Dario Fo, 90, Milan, Italy, October 13. Italian absurdist playwright; author, actor, theatre director. Winner of Nobel Prize for Literature [1997]. Best known for political polemic play The Accidental Death of an Anarchist [1970]. Pneumonia.
Junko Tabei, 77, Tokyo, October 20. Japanese mountaineer. First woman to climb Mt Everest in 1975. First woman to climb the "Seven Summits". Founder of the Japanese Ladies Climbing Club. Climbed the highest peaks in 56 countries. Undisclosed cancer.
Simone Schaller, 104, Arcadia, California, October 20. Oldest living Olympian at the time of her death. Competed for the USA in the 1932 [Los Angeles] and 1936 [Berlin] Olympics in the women's 80m hurdles. Old Age.
Richard Nicoll, 39, Sydney, October 21. Award-winning Australian fashion designer. Cardiac arrest.
Pete Burns, 57, London, October 23. British lead singer of one-hit-wonder 1980's band Dead or Alive. Eccentric punk-goth cross-dresser, pansexual, self-confessed cosmetic surgery addict. Cardiac arrest arising from chronic illnesses.


*November*

Leonard Cohen, OC, QOC, 82, Los Angeles, November 10. Canadian singer-songwriter, poet, novelist, aspiring Jewish Zen monk. Best known for the most covered popular song of the modern era "Halleujah". Recorded by more than 200 singers, originally having had more than 80 verses. Complications of a fall.
Robert Vaughn, 83, Ridgefield, Connecticut, November 11. American television, film and stage actor. Best know for his starring role in the 104 episode 1960's television spy series The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Leukemia.
Bob Francis, 77, Adelaide, November 11. Australian radio broadcaster. Notorious Adelaide "shock-jock" who remained on-air for 57 consecutive years before retiring in 2013. Locally famous for petition to bring the Beatles to Adelaide in 1964. Cardiac arrest.
Mose Allison, 89, Hilton Head, South Carolina, November 15. Obscure American jazz-style blues composer, producer, arranger, singer-songwriter, pianist. Best known for humourous ironic lyrics and unique vocal syle. Recorded final LP at the age of 83. Natural causes
Sharon Jones, 60, New York, November 18. American funk and soul singer. Lead singer Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings. Genre revivalist, recording first album at age 40. Sometimes known as "the female James Brown". Pancreatic cancer.
Hugh McDonald, 62, Melbourne, November 18. Australian singer-songwriter. Founding member of folk-rock bands The Bushwackers and Redgum. Nicknamed "Bullet". Prostate cancer.
Andrew Sachs, 86, London, November 23. German-born British stage, film, and television actor and documentary narrator. Best known for the comedic role as Manuel in the Fawlty Towers television series. Complications of vascular dementia.
Florence Henderson, 82, Los Angeles, November 23. American television actor. Star of long running 1970's sit-com The Brady Bunch. [117 episodes] "it's the story, of a lovely lady...". Congestive heart failure.
David Hamilton, 83, Paris, 25 November. Controversial British fashion photographer. Ended own life by drug overdose after being accused of raping four teenage models in the 1980's. Suicide.
Fidel Castro, 90, Havana, 26 November. Charismatic Cuban Marxist-Leninist revolutionary. Cuban nationalist and agrarian socialist. Seized power in 1959 after four year guerilla war. Cuban Prime Minister [1959-76]. President [1976-2008]. Big man in effective power for 47 years, one of the longest serving Heads of State of the 20th century and all-round totalitarian ruler. 638 unsuccessful assassination attempts. Hero of The Soviet Union, Order of Lenin. Author, gourmand, sports fan. Chronic illness.

*December*

John Glenn, 95, Colombus, Ohio, December 8. American astronaut, fighter pilot, engineer, politician. First American to orbit the earth [Friendship 7, 1962]. Veteran of WWII and Korean War. US Senator for Ohio for 25 years. Oldest man in space at age 77 aboard Space Shuttle Discovery. Presidential Medal of Freedom recipient. Complications of chronic illness after stroke.
Georgia Blain, 52, Sydney, December 9. Australian author and journalist. Author of eight novels. Daughter of Anne Deveson. Brain cancer.
A.A.Gill, 62, London, December 10. Outspoken British author, artist, journalist, and controversial critic. Restaurant reviewer for the London Sunday Times for 23 years. Non-practicing alcoholic for 32 years. Sudden death from mastatised lung cancer.
Mario Milano, 81, Sydney, December 10. Italian-born legendary Australian pro-wrestler. Arguably Australia's finest in his field. IWC World Champion and World Brass Knux title holder. Inventor of the Atomic Drop. Prefected the Sleeper and Claw Holds. Cardiac arrest.
Anne Deveson AO, 86, Sydney, December 12. Australian author, journalist, broadcaster, film-maker. Anti-Vietnam war activist, social commentator. Mental health advocate and founder of Schizophrenia Australia. Complications of Alzheimer's disease.
Thomas Schelling, 95, Bethedsa, Maryland. December 13. American economist, author and political theorist. Winner Nobel Memorial Prize for Economic Sciences [2005] for the development of "game-theory" during the Cold War. Author of The Stategy of Conflict. Complications of a fall.
Saintly, 24, Melbourne, December 15. Champion Australian thoroughbred racehorse. Winner of 1996 Melbourne Cup and WS Cox Plate. Owned and trained by "Cups King" Bart Cummings. "The horse from Heaven". Old age.
Henry Heimlich, 96, Cincinnati, Ohio, December 17. American thoracic surgeon and inventor. Devised the eponymous "Heimlich Manoeuvre" for preventing people choking to death [1974]. Also invented a portable medical oxygen supply system and the 'flutter-valve' to drain collapsed lungs. Cardiac arrest.
Zsa Zsa Gabor, 99, Los Angeles, December 18. Legendary Hungarian-born American entertainer and socialite, Hollywood film and television actress. Appeared in more than 70 motion pictures and television series. Miss Hungary [1936]. Serial divorcee. Married nine times. Pionereed the concept of being famous for being famous. Stroke after chronic illness.
Andrei Karlov, 63, Ankara, December 19. Russian ambassador to Turkey. Killed by single gun shot from own security detail while opening a photographic art exhibition. Assassinated.
Chad Robinson, 36, Sydney, November 26. Australian journeyman rugby league player. Played 160 games for Easts and Parramatta in the NRL. Remains found December 22. Suicide.
Richard Adams, 96, Whitchurch, Hampshire, December 24. British novelist. Author of Watership Down [1972], selling one million+ copies in the UK alone. Old age.
George Michael, 53, Goring-on-Thames, England, December 25. British singer/songwriter, disco and pop superstar. Lead singer of UK pop duo Wham! before successful solo career. Sold 80+ million albums world wide. Eight Grammy Awards. Gay rights activist, Greek-Cypriot nationalist, philanthropist, notorious self-confessed masturbator. Cardiac arrest.
Oliver Prinz von Anhalt, 45, Los Angeles, December 25. American socialite. Adopted son of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Motorcycle crash.
Carrie Fisher, 60, Los Angeles, December 27. American Hollywood actress. Best known for her role as Princess Leia in the Star Wars franchise. Daughter of actress Debbie Reynolds and 1950's pop star Ed Fisher. Self-confessed "cracked" drug addict. Complications of cardiac arrest.
Debbie Reynolds, 84, Los Angeles, December 28. American Hollywood actress and singer, Las Vegas hotel proprietor.1950's motion picture superstar. Mother of Carrie Fisher. Stroke.
Sutter, 13, Sacremento, California, December 30. Welsh corgi. First Dog of California. Kept by incumbent and longest-serving Governor of California, Jerry Brown. World class exponent of taking the political tummy-rub. Old age.


PHHEEW!


{originally published 3-1-17)

Geek of the Year, 2016

When it comes to the economy, every politician knows KISS -- "keep it simple, stupid".
But this lad really knows all there is to know about money.
Geek of the Year, 2016.
Without a doubt.


http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-01-01/canberra-teenager-snags-first-coin-of-the-year/8156404


Hat's off to the kiddie.
And he's already got a fine set of man-boobs at just 16.

(origially published 1-1-17)

'twas the night before Christmas...

Well, it's that time of year again, and yet another 365 looms to a close for the Miracle of Democracy.
And what a year!
Folks vote for the politicians they deserve and so there's a whole lotta new big bossmen in charge all over the shop.
Can't wait for 2017, to see what the ballot box brings.
Nothing for it now, but to fire up a gigantic scoob and forget about the Silly Season.

After all...'twas the night before Christmas...and the Lord hath spoken:

(originally published 24/12/16)

The Art of The Deal

Political Pundits,

In the interests of imagining where the Free World might be headed in the next four years, I decided to order in a copy of the new POTUS's manifesto:

Donald J Trump (with Tony Schwartz), The Art of The Deal, [Ballantine Books, New York, 2015], 372pp.

It's a rattling good yarn and a first-rate insight into the lunatic, and I'm only about half way through it.
It was first published to mass acclaim way back 1987 when Trumpology was already well established even though the redneck was only 41 years old [the front cover of the new paperback reprint has on it in bold letters #1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER!], yet after all this time, nothing has changed.
While there is no denying the dude's capacity for a tremendous amount of work and the fact he's a confirmed teetotaller, which will both serve him well in his new job; in the book, DJ Trump brilliantly and unashamedly reveals himself as an unreformed seriously badass narcissist conman, with mental health issues bordering on psychopathic.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201511/7-things-only-narcissists-do

Not the first nor the last time one of those has been in the White House.
The book cost me all of twelve dollars brand new with free postage - a pretty good deal I thought - so that's another dollar change for The Donald to put into his blind trust.

(originally published 20-12-16)

"if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog"

Comrades,

Everyone knows that the "postal allowance" for Australian politicians is extremely generous, but the President of the United States is on a real doozy, with the White House routinely sending out about 1.5 million Xmas cards each year.
This year's card features a polaroid of the First Family dressed to the nines at the State Dinner for the PM of Canada back in March; it has all their signatures on the inside, including a paw-print from each of the two Portuguese Water Dogs.
However, the leader of the Australian Labor Party, Bill Shorten, has trumped Obama on that one this year.
The only thing I can't work out is which of the cards has more style and class?
You be the judge.

(originally published 11-12-16)

Sen. R.Culleton of WA at the High Court

Comrades,

One to watch.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-07/one-nation-rod-culleton-senate-high-court-hearing-underway/8099510

Five of the seven Justices of the High Court have got in on this one - the decision will be fairly decent case-law.
Culleton said last week he was going to represent himself as his lawyers wanted $25K in a trust account before they'd go ahead - obviously had a change of heart - but he's got cheap rubbish.
Nothing less than clout aka silk will do at the HC.
Barrister Peter King looks fairly piss poor from the get-go - having his first two opening arguments/applications thrown out in a desultory fashion by Them Honours.
Good night, and good luck, Rod.

(originally published 7-12-16)

in breaking news...John Key resigns as Prime Minister of New Zealand at the age of 55

Political analysts,

OMG!
The Miracle of Democracy strikes again, and there aint been no vote, this time.
Gorn by his own volition.
One of the great leaders of the free world, John Key, resigns as Prime Minister of New Zealand at the age of 55, after eight years in charge.
“This is the hardest decision I've ever made, and I don't know what I'll do next.”
What next, indeed, Fawlty?
He says he wants to spend more time at home at his luxury mansion in Parnell with his family, which seems a little odd, as they constitute his 21 year old son Max [who he affectionately refers to as "that little toe-rag"] and his wife of 32 years, Bronagh, along with their daughter Stephie.

Here's Max the Toe-rag in the family photo album [he's the one in the middle]:

and here's 20 year old Stephie, aka Cherry Lazar, graduating earlier this year from the Paris College of Art:

(originally published 5-12-16)

Fidel on tour

Comrades,

Have been enjoying immensely Fidel's El Grand Tour de la Isla de Cuba before he climbed into his poor shallow grave.
Some marvellous photographs have been coming in on the copper wire...

(originally published 5-12-16)

Tourism Australia’s Global Beach Ambassador

Comrades,

Ahhhh...at long last...the ideal job for moi...

Tourism Australia’s Global Beach Ambassador!

http://www.101bestbeaches.com/

What a jolly jape.
Under the swaying palms, sand between the toes, crystal clear waters, turtles, maidens serving silver trays of margarita's, chowing down on lightly-seared lobsters, Cuban cigars, all on a bloated stipend from the Fed Govt.
Ripper.
Got all the qualifications, so where do I send my CV describing myself as a "world-class idler"?




(originally published 4-14-16)

Hollande - gorn - but not forgotten

Comrades,

Oh no!
That 'disaster' Hollande has decided not to run for President de le Grande République again.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-02/francois-hollande-says-he-will-not-seek-second-term/8086058


A "tough, mature, serious choice".
Five years was more than enough.
Doesn't want to see the "Socialists scatter" - too late, mate - the famed French Left is already broken into shards.
French Socialism is dead - has been for a while...
Vale, you Pinko in name only.
Bet ya Hollande will miss the "working lunch on Monday at the Elysee Palace", not.
At three years older than me, damn sure he's set up his retirement very nicely indeed - the pension for former French Presidents is rather tasty at a tax free €17,500 a month [!], plus a "fully furnished and equipped" apartment [read "love nest"] in Paris paid for by the state, an office with seven staff, a nice motor with two chauffeurs, two gendarme for security, free business-class travel anywhere in the world on Air France plus endless rides on the French bullet trains, just for fun.
Woot!
It'll be Fillon v Le Pen in the May run-off election, with Macron looming as the dark horse.
My money is on Fillon, with Macron the next time round - Maccas was born to be President, and he knows it.



(originally published 2-12-16)

the godsend of the algorithm

Fellow hacks,

Here's a good yarn.
The death of journalism part XXVII.
How a reporter ended up making click-bait for a meagre living:

http://www.irishtimes.com/culture/tv-radio-web/confessions-of-a-clickbait-creator-amazing-lol-1.2876398

Luckily it didn't happen to me, but once I tried my hand at the digital side of Sky News trying to keep up with these modern trends [LOL!], I quickly came to realise that I had outlived my usefulness.
No regrets.
Mind you, this is from a blowie who started out in a state-of-the-art radio newsroom where our most important tool was the fixed-line telephone; we also had reporter's two-way radio's, quarter-inch tape recorders, cartridge tape players, Olivetti typewriters & carbon paper, a single telex machine, and a brand new-fangled thing called a facsimilie machine.
Woot!
Viral cat videos aside, it's only now the defeated Democrats in the US of A are complaining about "fake news" and how the Russians got in on the scam.
Oh, c'mon, for gawd's sake, it's been around since the year dot; it's called propaganda, it's only that the people making it now have much cleverer and more powerful tools at their disposal than the Gutenberg press.
Goebbels would have loved the godsend of the algorithm.

(originally published 2-12-16)

only in New York...

Never mind all this fighting over the election of the essentially powerless DJ Trump!
I'm really really really sick of cat video's...but...only in New York...

(originally published 29-11-16)

Turd Tower

Reckon it must be pretty easy to break into Google Maps, but this one is gold:

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2016/11/28/trump-tower-rebranded-unfortunate-new-name-google-maps


(originally published 29-11-16)

designer vagina's

Oh My God!
Forget vaginoplasty, let's Make Pops Sexy Again.


http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-11-26/are-designer-vaginas-the-same-as-female-genital-mutilation/8056842


As you know, I've always had a body image problem, but now I've got a reconditioned dad-bod that lost the beer belly after my intestines were re-arranged 18 months ago [the slightly unsightly completely harmless hernia doesn't count], so I'm right there.
But I aint got no ink...mmm...
Thinking that after the sad untimely passing of The Great Comrade Castro, maybe I should go for the Mt Rushmore effect across my chest?
A tattoo of Fidel on one side, Uncle Ho in the middle, and José Ramos-Horta on the other.
All he-men. Appeals to all sides.
Winner!

PS. "No detail is given about the reasoning for either of these events."

(originally published 29-11-16)

"A woman is appointed Chief Justice of the High Court for the first time in 113 years"

This is excellent news for the Miracle of Democracy.
Sure to cast an impartial eye across the Constitution.

"A woman is appointed Chief Justice of the High Court for the first time in 113 years"

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2016/11/29/our-first-female-high-court-chief-justice

The old bloke in charge, His Majesty Robert French, announced he would step down just before he reached the compulsorary retirement age of 70.
And who knew Sydney Uni had a "Constitutional Reform Unit"?
Good luck with that.


http://blogs.usyd.edu.au/cru/2015/05/an_ageing_amendment_section_72.html


(originally published 29-11-16)

a day at the Havana aquarium

Comrades,

Everyone used to love "El Che" - but he wasn't even Cuban, just a very good micro-manager and we all know what happened to him; dead in some Bolivian shit-hole at 39 - Fidel was the big picture man and much more charismatic for mine, with that enormous bunger constantly in his gob, and let's face it, it was Fidel's Way or the Highway - how do you stay at the top for so long without it being so?

One of the many things I loved about Fidel was that he had an opinion on everything and would bang on forever about this own uniquely contradictory style of Marxist-Leninist-Trot-like Agrarian Socialism [still holds the world record for the longest speech to the UN General Assembly at about four and a half hours], was very good at a rumble in the jungle, and was never afraid to take on the "Colossus to the North".
Despot? Yes. But a tyrant you could trust.
But more than that, Fidel was a gourmand, pants-man, enjoyed nothing more than a good practical joke, and admired dolphins for the mad rooters that they are.
Here's just the start of the best article ever written about a day at the Havana Aquarium:


http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2010/09/fidel-cuban-model-doesnt-even-work-for-us-anymore/62602/



(originally published 28-11-16)

the long way 'round to his poor shallow grave

Comrades,

Seems like Fidel is taking the long way 'round to his poor shallow grave:
From the Havana Times...

http://www.havanatimes.org/?p=122334

However, today we have awoken to a tragic itinerary which is extremely austere for the great leader: Funeral honors will last nine days, his body will be cremated as he wished; his ashes will be shown at the Jose Marti Memorial in Revolution square on November 28 and 29th, which will end in a mass farewell ceremony in the Square itself at 7 PM on the last day; then his ashes will travel around the entire country along a route which will reenact his Victory Caravan march in 1959, however in reverse. This tour will end in a mass ceremony as a farewell in Antonio Maceo Square in Santiago de Cuba on December 3rd at 7 PM; and then his ashes will rest in Santa Ifigenia Cementery in the Eastern capital, in a burial ceremony that will take place from 7 AM onwards on December 4th.

(originally published 27-11-16)

Vale, Fidel Castro

Comrades,

Vale, Fidel...a man after my own heart...one for the ages...so long...

(originally published 26-11-16)

others agree, it seems

The bloke has always struck me as a kind of 24 carat, card-carrying, roll over for a tickle on the tummy, weak as piss, unreformed C_U_N_T.
Seems others agree.

http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/greens-leader-richard-di-natale-hit-by-staff-exodus-20161124-gswk0q.html?eid=email:nnn-13omn654-ret_newsl-membereng:nnn-04%2F11%2F2013-news_am-dom-news-nnn-age-u&campaign_code=13INO008&et_bid=29054823&promote_channel=edmail&mbnr=NDg5ODk3Mg

(orignally published 25-11-16