the floodgates have opened

August 1, 2016.
Mark the day in history.
At long, long, long, long last - after decades long peaceful activism for legislative change and de-regulation of the whole damned thing - floodgates have finally opened.
Could be the finest achievement of the Baby Boomer.
We continue to shake our heads and wave our banner...


               I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M STILL PROTESTING ABOUT THIS


              http://www.echo.net.au/2016/08/gps-prescribe-medicinal-cannabis-nsw/

"Among the potential uses for medical cannabis is the treatment of arthritis, epilepsy, glaucoma, schizophrenia, Crohn’s disease and sleep disorders."
No kidding, Doc?
And why do we need to buy the gear from Canada?
Must be those fans, man; they're way ahead of us mechanically blowing when it comes to re-producing a Sirroco...and just gaze at the ripening heads with arms folded and face to the rustling breeze...the aroma, yes, the aroma...

        [A commercial cannabis farm operated by Canadian licensed supplier Tweed. Photo: Tweed.]


(originally published 01-09-16)

the Mad Maori

Crazy,


A slight correction old chap. Kevin07 referred to the Chinese as 'rat fuckers', not to the fuckees as 'rat fucked'. There is a difference.


Having lived in the shakeys during the the reign of Sister Helen, I can attest to her political flexibility and ability to govern in ungovernable circumstances. NZ has a dead set crazy electoral system that gives all sorts of nutbars and muntards access to the public trough. The system seemed to be designed to force a minority government to embrace some of the fringe. Depending on your attitude this either tempers the rabidness of the largest popular party, gives an [over]representaion to smaller [& small interest parties] or completely hobbles the ability of a government to enact an agenda. I'm in camp 3. For instance, in the 2005 election, NZLP beat the Nationals but had to bring in the Progressives (the rump of a left split from the NZLP), Peter Dunne (an unstable libertarian), and Winston Peters (an unstable nutbar, muntard and ... oh fuck ... exasperation fails me). The inspired twist was to bring Dunne and Peters into the ministry OUTSIDE cabinet. Peters was made Foreign Minister!!!! OUTSIDE cabinet!!!! So the bottom line is that Sister Helen knows the art of the compromise - big time. Can you imagine how long Kevin07 would last during fraught negotiations for everyone to save face. I can. Precisely zero. (As an aside - this should bring some perspective to how effective Julia Gillard actually was in enacting a (admittedly compromised) agenda under ridiculous circumstances. The rich dude from Point Piper doesn't know how lucky he is to have fallen in with a majority.) Perhaps you only see the real ability when negotiation and compromise are the ONLY options. In other words, how big a shit sandwich can you keep down.


When we lived in Kingsland in Auckland we used to drive past Sister Helen's house in Mt Eden on the way to the Chinese fruit and veg supermarket on Dominion Road. There was a permanent white van parked out the front. NZ is crazy small. I met Sister Helen twice when she visited my workplace. The second time I realised that one of the guys I played soccer with every Sunday afternoon at the Auckland Domain was one of her security detail! That's crazy small.


Rick, still Red - South of the Hipster Proof Fence.

Maven of the Dark Arts,

Well corrected.
There is a difference.
In my defence, I don't know the Mandarin phrase for "them fucking fithy fucking dirty rat-fucking Chinese cunt's arseholes".
He's in good company though, even Our Queenie called the Chinese "rude".
It's so easy to forget youse was a long-time veteran of the Shakies campaign.
Glad you met the H-Bomb; probably went to the same Cash'N'Carry that you did.
Whenever Winston Peters was in town I was the first to put a mic under his nose - always good for a quote - man, the Mad Maori has more mental illnessess than are known to the psychiatry profession.
And what is that pea rattling around inside the Rich Dude's brain box thinking?
Why not just do the non-churlish thing, endorse the K-Rudd, then sit back and watch the pseudo-meglomaniac make a fool of himself in a short-lived run for office...non-problem solved.
Instead he makes a cluster-fuck out of it.
Must have a very short memory.
Probably can't recall what happened the last time half-term Tony made a Captain's Call.
Doesn't Turnbullshit know who Phil the Greek is?
Give me a break.

(originally published 29-07-16)

electing a new Secretary-General of the UN is an interesting thing

Comrades,

Electing a new Secretary-General of the UN is an interesting thing.
First of all it's no election at all - it's down to the permanent members of the Security Council [USA, Russia, China, UK, France - known as the P5] although the non-permanent members have some undescribed say in it.
Every member of the P5 has the right to blackball any candidate at any time for any reason with no requirement to disclose the reason, if any.
Straw polls are regularly conducted in secret to "encourage candidates to drop out of the race".
Once the list of candidates is whittled away, the P5 sit down to decide the winner, which is "discussed and decided at a private meeting" according to Rule 48.
The final choice of the P5 is then put to a vote on the floor of the General Assembly, but it is a fait accompli, as there is only one candidate, as by tradition any others left drop out.
While the current 13 candidates are all former leaders or Foreign Ministers of their countries, great store is set by their work inside the UN.
The H-Bomb Clark has the leg up here, as she's been chief of the UN's Development Program for years [The No.3 boss cocky at the UN], while Kevin 07, as far as I know, has just been lurking in the shadows in New York.
In other words -- the K-Rudd, even if he gets approval for his campaign from a Conservative cabinet who hate him - he has absolutely no chance, snowflakes...
The Chinese, for one, have long memories; and didn't much appreciate it when the K-Rudd said he'd been "rat-fucked by the Chinese" back in Copenhagen.
Plans for world domination gone awry.

(originally published 28-07-16)

'Oh, I could have a glass of port', NSW Health reports.

Social drinkers,

Pleasing to see the old folk are still getting on it!

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-07-21/daily-drinking-most-common-in-people-over-65-nsw-report-says/7634154

Did like the quote from one the Aqua Ladies "When it's been really cold, I've found myself thinking, 'Oh, I could have a glass of port'".
Gold!

I have read Montaigne's Of Drunkeness.
While Un Grand Philosophe finds drunkeness and drunkards in all their forms appalling and abhorrent and agrees with Plato that wine should not be served to children under 18 and drunkeness should be strictly prohibited among those under 40, he also says the undeniable pleasures of alcohol should never be denied to the old:

"The discomforts of old age, which need some support and refreshment, might reasonably make me wish to be a better drinker; for drinking is almost the last pleasure that the years steal from us...we should refuse no chance to drink and have this desire always in our head...my disposition is not to set store by drinking except after eating; and for that reason my last drink is almost always the biggest."

You know it makes sense.

(originally published 22-07-16)

just goin' down to Cleveland

"I'm just goin' down to Cleveland, to kick my ashes home..."

rock solid pinko

We were re-distributed into Barton...where the first black woman to be elected to the Fed Parl romped home -- destroying the Libs sitting member Nickolas Varvaris - who quickly became known in this household as Neville Fucking Bartos.
We've been voting for Linda Burney for years - a long time member of State Parl for Canterbury.
Here's the primary votes in the booth we voted at at Canterbury South -- rock solid pinko:


BURNEY, Linda Labor 959 54.83 +0.95
HEBER, Brent The Greens 185 10.58 +1.34
SUSILO, Sonny Christian Democratic Party (Fred Nile Group) 61 3.49 +2.10
TORKEL, Rasmus Independent 35 2.00 +2.00
TSOUKALAS, Harry Online Direct Democracy - (Empowering the People!) 16 0.91 +0.91
VARVARIS, Nickolas Liberal 493 28.19 -3.96
Formal 1,749 91.86 +5.25
Informal 155 8.14 -5.25


(originally published 07-07-16)

"choad-like qualities"

Amid the fear and loathing here in The Colonies, it's so easy to forget the fear and loathing on steroids going on back in the Heart of The Empire.
Did note that UKIP leader Nigel Farage has quit as leader of his party after saying he had achieved all his political ambitions with Brexit.
From the pre-Brexit edition of Popbitch ©

>> Choad in the poll << A lil' bump and grinder There have been accusations from both sides of the EU debate that the media has been giving a deliberately distorted portrayal of the facts involved. We are arguably as guilty of this as anyone, for we have repeatedly drawn your attention to a story about Nigel Farage's penis. We heard from a journalist who caught a glimpse of it at a urinal and described it as possessing "choad-like qualities". However, we have since heard from a woman who has first- hand experience of the penis in question, and we're told that it actually more closely resembles a pepper grinder. We apologise unreservedly to anyone who feels misled by our previous reports.

electoral hanky-panky

Comrades,

With the election going right down to the wire, every vote counts.
Especially in those seats to be decided by 100 votes or less, where the scrutineers will argue endlessly over what is a valid vote and what's not, complicated by the Electoral Act which gives the Commissioner the power to declare what on the surface appears to be an informal vote a formal vote "if the intention of the voter is clear".
My lawyer daughter told me that if you numbered the boxes correctly and then covered the rest of the ballot paper with pencil sketches of dicks and balls, the vote is still a formal vote.
Those who played Senate Lotto under the line will be a complete and utter nightmare to count.
And it'd so easy to forget the big swag of WA senate votes that simply vanished into thin air, never to be seen again, at the last election, which forced the High Court to instruct that the whole schmeozzle be re-run again.
In the small matter of buying federal votes for cash or anything else you want in the United States of America, it still remains legal.
It's nothing new of course -- here's a good one on how folks have been playing electoral hanky-panky with the Miracle of Democracy since way, way before the Year Dot:

http://www.the-tls.co.uk/articles/public/power-to-the-people-2/


(originally published 04-07-16)

caught at the polls

Comrades,

Most regrettably, I was caught at the polls in a candid and compromising position, for which I sincerely, wholeheartedly, and unreservedly apologise to my family and all my friend.
I offer no excuses.
But at least we all but almost voted the Tory bastards OUT!

(originally published 04-07-16)

Albo absolutely thrashed them

Election enthusiasts,

Albo absolutely thrashed them.
God he'd be happy..."I'm not interersted in the Greens, as I've said my whole political life - I am here to fight Tories"
He's got a huge personal following:

http://vtr.aec.gov.au/HouseDivisionPage-20499-121.htm

Liberals and Greens split the conservative vote and cancelled each other out.
Always nice to back a winner!

(originally published 03-06-16)

utter brexiting madness

Utter madness.
Anything but United Kingdom.
You are on your own, Pommies!
As I said to someone over lunch the other day, Scotland will drift across the North Sea and re-join Europe somewhere between Denmark and Norway, Irish nationalists are getting all excited about the long overdue prospect of a United Ireland, Wales are OK because they have the future King Charles The Turd.
Poor little England finds herself all on her lonesome.
Did note that Europe is calling for a "quickie divorce", and Pres. Hollande is playing hard ball "no agreement on open borders, no cherry picking trade deals in Europe", "non! non! non!" in his typical French style.
Even here in The Colonies there is some renewed talk of trying again to kiss the monarchy goodbye.
Of course, our inexorable refugee policy, which can be summed up in four words "fuck off, we're full".

We have our Federal Election here tommorrow after a tawdry, incredibly long 55 day election campaign.
Choosing our political masters for the next three years.
It is very tight, with the Labor Party given a chance of coming from a long way back to topple the ruling conservative Liberal Party/National Party coalition.
The only certainty is that nothing much will change.

I've been with Iceland all along in Euro 16, and if it all goes to shit here, that's where I'm emigrating to.
The Iceland Pirate Party will be in charge, and I will be in their any number of thermal hot springs pools.

(originally published 01-07-16)

vote the bastards out

Comrades,

I fear those Tories down in Canberra now have the good ship Britannia under tow in the wake of the good ship Tampa.
Trust the Poms to ruin it for everyone.
People hate change, it frightens them.
Still, there's hope yet for us ol' pinko's.
Here's an oldie but a goodie...
If you're confused, it tells you what to do during the Miracle of Democracy tomorrow:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1LLsw1lcuA

"Please don't sentence us to three more years,
Or we'll emigrate to French Algiers..."

You know it makes sense.
As my dyed-in-the-wool conservative father always used to say when he went to the polls: "I'm just popping down the street to strike my blow for freedom".
And remember...Vote early, vote often.

(originbally publish 01-07-16)

smash a snag sambo or two with your vote, or two

Comrades,

When out and about on Saturday, make sure you do your local long-suffering left-wing pinko community volunteers a favour, and smash a snag sambo or two with your vote.
It's the word on the street, so make mine tasty:
http://www.electionsausagesizzle.com.au/

(originally published 30-06-16)

voting skewed after a few beers

Social voters,
The Beer Democracy.
"the poll is neither official, nor scientific"...but, "paid off with a boost in sales for the bar".
Really?


http://www.smh.com.au/act-news/federal-election-2016-beer-poll-has-greens-ahead-20160627-gpssn5.html?google_editors_picks=true#ixzz4CvHRta9k

Disappointed that the 18% of voters who are teetotallers were disenfranchised, and didn't get the chance to vote after a Red Bull & Rohypnol.

(originally published 29-06-16)

slaves suggestions box

Comrades,

These folk obviously don't believe in the Miracle of Democracy, but that's all part and parcel of the Miracle of Democracy, because, that's OK.
Seen yesterday, in Newtown...

(originally published 28-06-16)

obviously on drugs

Comrades,

Somebody at the Electoral Commission is obviously on drugs:



http://aec.gov.au/Voting/How_to_vote/practice/practice-senate.htm

(originally published 27-06-16)

squashing the Greens at the Petersham Town Hall

Nice snap here of Albo and PJK squashing the Greens at the Petersham Town Hall.
Albo's got helium baloons!
Never mind that they're both ugly as...the Living Labor Legend is looking in the pink at 72, and he aint lost none of his wit:

(originally published 27-06-16)

the Princess Royal voting

Nice one here of the Princess Royal voting OUT!

(originally published 24-06-16)

Poms ruin it for everyone

The Poms ruin it for everyone, and the world's gone barking mad...

(originally published 24-06-16)

40 inches

From this week's edition of Popbitch:

-------------------------------
Our choice is simple: Leave/Remain,
but some voters in the Australian
elections next week have a 40 inch
ballot paper to fit 151 candidates
across 42 columns.
-------------------------------

(originally published 24-06-16)

cactus grafting on election day

I see that Stelarc is still going around - I'd pay good money to see his scars.
But here's something to while away some time on Election Day - Cactus Grafting!
I'm so up for it.

{(originally published 23-06-16)

SELL EVERYTHING BY THURSDAY!

Comrades,

Must confess that I hadn't taken much notice of the new anxiety medication Brexit, until I saw a headline in one of the business fishwraps quoting some finance boffin barking "SELL EVERYTHING BY THURSDAY!"
[Which of course begs the question: sell what to whom?]
So, I thought I'd see what was going on down at the bookies, and according to the odds' makers, it's a fait accompli.
STAY: $1.26
GO: $4.00
So, it seems our Britarse cousins will still be gobbling French cheese by the pound, and guzzling Champagne by the imperial bucketful.
Whatever happens though, it's patently clear - that after centuries of good form - the Poms are still determined to ruin it for everyone.

(originally published 23-06-16)

the Informal Why Bother Party

Comrades,

As the Miracle of Democracy grinds on relentlessly, I was just having a cursory glance at the election results for last time in some seats around about my gaff, when something struck me - I'm entirely sure I'm not the first to notice.

BARTON. Enrolled voters 98,663. Turn-out: 92.18%. Informal votes:12.04%.
GRAYNDLER. Enrolled voters 104,808. Turn-out: 91.32%. Informal votes: 7.00%.
WATSON. Enrolled voters 101,285. Turn-out: 90.68%. Informal votes: 13.95%

Now, I didn't get an F in high school mathematics for nothing, but by my crude calculations, that's about 20%, give or take a few, of the enrolled voters who can't be bothered turning up on the day or don't do anything with their vote.
It's a compulsory voting system, and still that's nearly enough to get elected on preferences!
Politicians should be trampling over each other for a bit of that action.
Soon enough, someone will dream up the Informal Why Bother Party, run it up the flag pole, and see how it flies.

(originally published 22-06-16)

all power to his oars

Comrades,

Ballot papers can make interesting reading.
Here's the latest wannabe politician you should get to know and love.
Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow-Meow, of the Science Party, running up against Albo in Grayndler.
All power to his oars:

(originally published 16-6-016)

got me beat

Problem solvers,

Not one who makes a regular habit of commenting on matters religious or moral, but,
Did like the "gay-death Sheik' Farrokh Sekaleshfar volunteering to leave the country, getting no further than Kingsford Smith airport, after being booked to speak just down the road from my gaff at the Earlwood Islamic Centre, not far from the airport.
Got through immigration and customs fine and into the cab queue; then turned around, and left of his own accord, by his account, because he didn't want to make no trouble.
Oh, c'mon, the NRA and half of America would be quietly cheering after Orlando 'that's 50 poofs gone, no great loss'.
Wonder if we have any of these snow bunnies in our midst?

It's got me beat.

(originally published 14-06-16)

shaking hands with politicians

Comrades,

It must've been a slow news day yesterday:

http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/jun/07/warning-that-shaking-hands-with-politicians-may-cause-outbreak-of-gastro-bug-norovirus

Everybody knows that if you shake hands with a politician you are most likely to want to shit your pants appallingly, and do a nice little vommie that splashes on their shoes, but jeesh, if I ever had the misfortune to run across PM Rich Dude, and he deigned to shake my hand, I'd probably get infected with something like the Zika virus, y'know, the one that killed Prince.

(originally published 08-06-16)

lightly crisped tarantulars

Midnight tokers,

Next we'll be smokin' lightly crisped tarantulars, mixed with scorpion tails, tobacco and hashish.


http://www.sbs.com.au/topics/science/nature/article/2016/06/06/tarantula-venom-could-help-develop-new-pain-treatments

Now that would be the scoob to end all scoobs!

(originally published 08-06-16)

well named politicians

We've got some well named politicians going around like PM Rich Dude and Deputy Barnaby.
But this one from the NXT in South Straya takes the biscuit.
Rebekah Sharkie!
She'd sooner go CHOMP, than look at you.

originally published 07-06-16)

$3.59 to "flush out ice crooks"

Lovely typo in The Australian today:

Environment Minister Greg Hunt will dish out about $900,000 in protected species grants overwhelmingly to Liberal-held marginal seats including Leichhardt and Forde in Queensland, La Trobe and Murray in Victoria, Lyons in Tasmania, Paterson in NSW, and O’Connor and Durack in Western Australia.

One seat held by an independent, Bob Katter’s Kennedy, was also included.

Separately, in a move to “flush out” ice crooks, a re-elected government would give $3.59 to the Australian Crime Commission to test the nation’s wastewater for drugs.

“This type of detection can ultimately lead police to dealers and their clandestine labs,” Justice Minister Michael Keenan said, adding the analysis could also lead investigators to overseas syndicates that supply certain ingredients.

“Crooks are more sophisticated than ever before and we need to be smarter, more agile, more innovative and more targeted in our efforts to detect, disrupt and undermine the misery they peddle.”


Glad that the Crime Commission is only being promised $3.59 to "flush out ice crooks" in some hair-brained scheme.
As the Good Lady Wife said: "Here's a fiver, keep the change".

Thought the war on drugs was lost and over, done and dusted?

{Originally published 05-06-16)

the "sniff test"?

Make of this what you will...but apart from the obvious first question..."don't know" wins hands down everytime:

From the press release:

"That’s the latest poll from Essential Media Communications which, besides asking more mundane questions like which party people are planning to vote for and who they’d prefer as Prime Minister, has gone off on a jag and quizzed more than 1,000 people on a bunch of things no one has ever, ever thought about or would want to know."

"EMC director Peter Lewis describes the new set of questions as a “Leadership Sniff Test” — a phrase which, besides invoking the delightful mental image of voters picking a new Prime Minister by gently smelling the candidates, kind of explains what they’re driving at by asking people which major political figure they’d rather help them with their laundry. By making people imagine Bill Shorten carrying the groceries or Malcolm Turnbull changing the gas bottle on the barbecue, they’re trying to see which guy voters find more relatable."

(originally published 01-06-16)

the Substance Abuse Minister

Midnight tokers,

Back in the day when Dr Andrew Refshauge MB, BS was the Labor Health Minister in NSW, he'd always describe himself off-the-record to us journo's as "the Minister for The Sick".
The Ministry, he said, had very little to do with the "healthy".
Who knew then, that 20 years later, South Australia has a Substance Abuse Minister?
So, that, by Andrew's logic, must make Leesa Vlahos "the Minister for The Stoned".

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-05-31/quitline-webchat-support-service-launched-for-smokers/7463598

She must cover a lot of ground, as she's also "the Minister for the Crippled and the Mad".
Wonder if she's also having a crack at "smoker hatred", or does she leave that to the Racism Minister?
It's got me beat.


http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/may/31/new-zealand-tobacco-crackdown-labelled-racist-towards-maori

(originally published 31-05-16)

start yelling!

Did like the Miracle of Democracy on Sunday - with the usual rag-tag of ratbags taking to the streets of Sydney in a generalised protest against anything that the state's great and glorious leader Mike Baird has had his fingerprints on.
No tollways, no freeways, less traffic, no trams, more trams, too many people in town, too much dogshit on the footpaths, no non-representative local goverment run by un-elected boffins, the right to get pissed when and wherever you like - you name it, anyone got a guernsey on this one...

(originally published 30-5-16)

two American's in the Paris of The East

Comrades,

Guessing if I was a lame-duck president, but still the Leader of the Free World and found myself at a loose-end, I too, would be sucking on a foaming frostie in Hanoi.
But don't like the Nobel Laureate's choice of lunch partner to celebrate the end of the arms emarbgo with.
Anthony Bourdain is a right know-it-all punce.
Still, Obama does well to try hard to be a local, but doesn't look anything like Uncle Ho:

The caption for the photo of the deftly placed chopsticks for the camera should probably read.
"Fuckin' hot here in 'Nam during the build-up; beers good tho', eh Bordy?"
"Too right Obes, and the Secret Service tells me it's their worst nightmare. What the fuck?"

(originally published 25-05-16)

Fizzer

Did like this one -- seen on a traffic lights signal box in Stanmore:

What's with the bike, then?



(originally published 23-05-16)

gratuitous police violence

Paris protestors are accusing the cops of gratuitous police violence, so transport strikes and fully-fighting rioting set to continue for a whole week.
Fun and games!
Did like these before and after photo's of a Paris cop car:

(Originally published 20-05-16)

High Court throws out challenge to Senate voting reforms

High Court throws out challenge to Senate voting reforms in a desultory fashion.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-05-13/senate-voting-reform-challenge-thrown-out-by-high-court/7410986

Of course the Parliament has the power to change the way they are elected, it seems.
Anyone can still take all the time they want to vote for anyone they like under the line on the Senate ballot paper, as I think one or other or both of you foolishly did one election, making a few attempts to get it right.
If there was anytime for solidarity - it's right now.
Vote the bastards out.

(Originally published 13-05-16)

I am stoned all the time, occifer

Midnight tokers,

This is why police tounge-wiping, after an expensive television advertising campaign, has all but died out in NSW in a matter of months.
No convictions in it for the cops.
The courts are aquitting old stoners who are clean off their chops, left right and centre, because there is no reliable evidence for the prosecution.
You are still presumed innocent unless you are found guilty, thank gawd.

http://www.theage.com.au/video/video-news/video-world-news/us-marijuana-driving-limits-not-scientific-20160510-4esqp.html

Check out the eyes of the dude in the last frames, having a pen waved at him - he's clearly a gonna.
And picking up dope buds with chopsticks is a novel approach, and would take some skill - particularly if yr medicinally out of yr mind on Super Skunk - as the woman says "I work with the shit - I am stoned all the time."

(Originally published 12-05-16)

"thanks for paying for my house, loser"

Coming home from the shops yesterday, I counted at least 6 abandoned houses in Vicliffe St, and some of those were even former povo houses!
All negatively geared to fuck, no doubt.
As I said, the joint is a squatters paradise.
So, did like this article nicely headlined as "thanks for paying for my house, loser".
This is why you can't buy Sydney real estate, you should be pissed off about it, and you should start squatting in it.
Y'know - possession is nine tenths of the law:

http://www.smh.com.au/comment/blunt-instrument/federal-election-2016-thanks-for-paying-for-my-house-loser-20160509-goq9w3.html

On a lighter note, I was looking for a stock photograph the other day that encapsulates the Millenial generation.
This is the first one that came up in Google Images:

(Originally published 10/05/16)

pure gold tittle-tattle

Art critics,

This is pure gold tittle-tattle:

http://news.domain.com.au/entertainment/art-and-design/archibald-winner-lewis-miller-destroyed-malcolm-turnbull-portrait-after-future-pm-said-he-looked-big-fat-and-greedy-20160127-gmewho.html?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=link-widget&utm_campaign=c-all-alwayson_nonffx

PM Rich Dude a "big, fat, greedy c--t" by his own admission?
Oh come on, surely not?

(Originally published 09-05-16)

"medicinal" cannabis and the Law - we are coming to get all your stuff

Midnight tokers

While we are on the "medicinal" cannabis issue, NSW is way off the pace compared to Victoria.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-05-09/nsw-govt-applies-for-medicinal-cannabis-cultivation-licence/7395434

But, who would have thought "Australia is the only country that can grow every type of variety under the sun", according to some world leading agronomist who prefers not to be named, but is close to the negotiations.
And "a type or variety that you can find extremely effective for you mightn't be so effective for me".
I suppose he's referring to the gold standard - Afghan black - or perhaps the finest hasheesh from Lebanon's Beeka Valley, Morrocan kif, maybe, or the super-skunk from Holland, the Green Dream, the Sledge Hammer, the Brain Imploder, or just the "No-Toke Dope", the stuff that you keep in the cupboard and get high on, just knowing that it's there.
Everyone knows what they like.
Gentlemen, I can see a free-for-all coming on here.
We know where you are, and we are coming to get your stuff.
Tamworth, look out!
"High fencing, security cameras and individual plant labelling" is just an open invitation to theives with good ladders, magnifying glasses, and paper bags over their heads to come along and loot your crop, variety by variety.
Happy days.

(Originally published 09-05-16)

a squatters paradise

Real Estate Sharks,

When I went to my eldest daughter's new rented gaff that looks like a '60's beach house on stilts planted on the Petersham/Marrickville border for dinner last Thursday night and wanted to watch the rugby league on her boyfriend's enormous HD TV set, she didn't even know how to switch it on to free-to-air television.
Ah, the yoof of today.
So she wouldn't have been watching Channel Two last night.
So I've sent both the kiddies a very old fashioned thing that's going to go the way of the world in the near future - an e-mail - to alert them:


Don't suppose you saw Four Corners last night on the trials and tribulations of millenials trying to buy capital city real estate?
Fascinating.
Have a lookie on ABC iview and you'll see why your generation is so pissed off - it now takes 12.6 times the annual average wage to buy a very ordinary house in Greater Sydney, if you want to buy where you guys choose to live - forget it.
And you are being forced out of the market by investors taking out 100% bank loans in a Ponzi scheme that's entirely based on "a rare gift from the Govt" - negative gearing.
Nothing is going to change in tonight's budget.
No wonder there are 60,000 vacant houses in Sydney, let alone apartments - it's a squatters paradise out there.
Blame the greedy baby boomers - not me - I'm an [or was] ordinary worker, who just got very lucky indeed to own 440 sq metres of Sydney dirt.

(Originally published 03-05-16)

knock out a few Shortfin Barracuda's

French submarines cost more?
Really?

http://www.skynews.com.au/news/top-stories/2016/04/27/creation-of-3000-jobs-after-dcns-sub-contract.html

Watch the fun and games as the Frenchies start telling the good burgars of Adelaide what to do in their funny little language.
The "variations" to the contract in French will be fantastic - costing billions and billions more..
French President Francois Hollande hails the deal as 'historic', eh?
Little wonder.
He's got $50 BILL in his back pocket just for starters to knock out a few Shortfin Barracuda's.
Bon avec des croustilles pomme de terre frites.
Good with chips.

(Originally published 27-04-16)

a jazz swing to "The Internationale"

When does Lord King Zachariah, Grand Poo-Bah of the Blues, return from the Great People's Republic of China with a gold medal around neck and a crown upon his head?
No doubt he will now be able to give a jazz swing to "The Internationale"...rendered here in the Swedish version...

(Originally publish 20-04-16)

two words - nuclear farkin' weapons

Drinkers for Disarmament,

If you think Donald Trump is mad, bad and dangerous to know, try Senator Ted Cruz.
Read a lenthy profile of the "Most Hated Senator in Washington" in Time magazine the other day.
Not only does Teddy vow to "utterly destroy Islamic extremism" he also wants to "find out if sand glows in the dark".
He's also well known for not minding a drink in a crisis.
Geesh...that doesn't auger well if the nutter ever gets his hands on the briefcase containing the foreign policy numbers.
Kaboom!

(Originally published 18-04-16)

"value capture"

Midnight Tokers,

The Rich Dude running the country used the phrase "value capture" the other day.
I've looked everywhere for an interpretation, and I now doubt that it's a valid conjuction of words in the English language.
In other words, "WTF does that mean, Mal?"
In the meantime, forget all this political nonsense and get so off yr tree that yr in the next orchard.
This is an oldie but a goodie - will not effect the liver, but check the dude's eyes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp4Gc0W_bGU



(Originally published 12-04-16)

Uncle Ho

Pinko's,

As much as I admire the nationalist hero...

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/uncle-ho-controversial-brisbane-eatery-to-change-its-name-20160410-go35jf.html

Reminds me of wearing my Uncle Ho t-shirt to an anti Work Choices fuck-over-the-workers rally at the SCG some years ago now, and narrowly avoiding getting into a fight with a Vietnamese barman in the Ladies Stand.
I would never dare wear that t-shirt here in Campsie, as Vietnamese folk would come from miles around to bash me senseless, without any doubt.
Really really dumb decision by the restaurant owners - don't they know that every Vietnamese person in Australia hates the commo's with a very deep passion and their fathers and grandfathers were members of the South Vietnamese Army?
Geeesh, take down yr little history book, and have another look.

(Originally published 11-04-16)

tuck a packet of fags in

Aung San does not look at all comfortable with the camera [and why would you after how many years under house arrest?] doing the death stare right into the lens of the damnable thing.
The other dudes in the smart hats seem to couldn't care less at the swearing in of Parliamentarians in Burma.
One of them even appears to have space in the top of his rig to tuck a packet of fags in.
Gold.
Wouldn't be that many pockets in them robes, you'd reckon.

(Originally published 03-03-16)

DJ Trump is the only one who doesn't drink

Trump might be as dumb as fuck, be he is a super smart operator.
Hitler had the same idea - prey on people's fears, promise to make the motherland great - in fact - promise anything and everything to everyone, and you can't lose.
People forget Hitler snuck in the back door after narrowly failing to be democratically elected...the rest is history
And - of all the candidates for President - Trump is the only one who doesn't drink, never touched a drop since his elder brother died of cihrosis of the liver.

(Originally published 16-03-16)

"I made a hole, and barfed on the beach"

"I made a hole, and barfed on the beach".
How bizzare, how bizzare.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v75wCTMZoSY

And this, from the self confessed "Most Hated Senator in Washington.


(Originally published 13-03-16)

sick and tired of people being tounge wiped

The magistrate in Lismore has got it dead right.
He's sick and tired of people being tounge wiped for cannabis appearing in his court -- and the police prosecutor turns up with no evidence that will stand up to legal scrutiny.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-03-03/claim-cannabis-stays-in-system-for-up-to-12-hours-questioned/7216720

Stoners United! Will never be defeated!


(Originally published 4-03-16)

take a leaf

Reckon that Albo should take a leaf out of UK Labor leader Jeremy Corbyn's book:

https://shop.labour.org.uk/products/jeremy-corbyn-straight-talking-honest-politics-pint-glass-680/#product_description

Distributed free of charge to every pub in his electorate - and by Gawd, there'd be a few, just quietly.


(Originally published 27-02-16)

Govt. sponsored ageism at its very finest

Aghastee's,

How's this for Govt. sponsored ageism at its very finest?
Yesterday, I recieved a notice from the fine folk down at the Roads & Maritime Services division of the NSW Transport Dept. asking me nicely, if I wouldn't mind, to kindly renew my Drivers' Licence.
Fair enough.
Then I noticed in the fine print:
"Ten-year Licences will only be issued to full Licence holders between 21 and 44 years of age".
Now, if my mathematics serves me right, by the Govt's. reckoning, everyone will be pushed out of the igloo and told to fend for themselves at age 54.

Shocked, appalled, angry and upset.

(Originally published 25-02-16)

trying to take your vote away

Fellow Pinko's,

The Miracle of Democracy requires eternal vigilance.
Now the Rich Dude, in concert with the brown-dog Greens out to save their own skins, are trying to take your vote away.


http://www.afr.com/news/politics/crossbenchers-to-be-wiped-out-by-senate-reform-20160222-gn0ceu

Don't be rat-fucked by the arseholes.
Vote the Bastards out!
While you still can.

(Originally published 23-02-16)

no generation in history

Here's the quote from some American academic I've never heard of I was telling you about on Friday night.
From this week's Time magazine [half their readership are 'millenials' - that's you] where the two feature articles were on the impact of the youth vote on the US Presidential election, and the new age of how to grow old gracefully.

"No generation in history has ever been so technologically empowered, with so boundless a sense of wonder and possibilty, yet this is a downwardly mobile generation with less wealth, more debt, higher unemployment and fewer owned homes than their parents' generation had".


Sorry to have left you the world in a shittier state than we found it in.


(Originally published 22-02-16)

a couple of old boozers

As you know, I love nothing more than a good demo.
So pleased to see a big turn out at yesterday's "Keep Sydney Open" rally.
And it wasn't just the Yoof of Today, by the look of the photo's there were all sorts of drinkers in attendance, and some very clever placards.
Loved this photo of a couple of old boozers who look like they'd already had a few by the smiles on their faces.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCCM8OlImRF/embed/captioned/?v=6

(Originally published 22-02-16)

"Sweden's sexiest politician"

This is "Sweden's sexiest politician" of 2014.
He was runner up in 2015.
Thoughts on Mr Emil Källström at age 29, ladies?

(Originally published 16-02-16)

Choice, eh bru?

Professional freeloaders,

It seems David Johnston, former Defence Minister in the Abbott Govt...noted only for his line "I wouldn't trust the Australian Submarine Corporation to build a canoe"...is set to become the Australia's next Consul-General to Hong Kong and Macau, in return for all the enormous sacrifices he has made in his grand service to his country.
Now, If that isn't the cushiest fully taxpayer-funded "job" in the entire fuckin' world, what is?
All you have to do is host cocktail parties.
And course His Excellency the Consul-General would have to have a suitably impressive residence, wouldn't he?
And, guess what?
He does.
39 Island Road, Deepwater Bay, Hong Kong.
Similar properties nearby are going for about $A50 million.
Choice, eh bru?

(Originally published 12-02-16)

two votes per gallon

Voters,

From the book I'm currently reading:
Susan Cheever, Drinking in America - Our Secret History, [Twelve, Hachette Books, New York, 2015], 258pp.

George Washington [of course, later the 1st President of the United States, who, by the way, loved parties and fox hunting] failed miserably in his first attempt at public office in 1755, to be elected to a seat in the Virginia Assembly, however, he wised up at his second attempt:

"Two years later he ran again, but this time he delivered 144 gallons of rum, punch and cider to the polling places distributed by election volunteers who urged voters to drink up. At 307 votes, Washington got a return on his investment of almost two votes per gallon. Most elections featured vats and barrels of free liquour as well as the candidate on hand to drink along with his constituency. Candidates showed off their generosity as well as their drinking capacity. Although voting while intoxicated was normal for the colonists, French traveller Ferdinand Bayard was horrified to notice 'Candidates offer drunkenness openly to anyone who his willing to give them his vote'".

The Miracle of Democracy at its very finest!

[Originally published 18-12-15)

in a fun kinda way

This is good, in a fun kinda way.

American gun culture goes off the planet and up the runter...

[http://fusion.net/story/242110/gopdildo-matt-haughey/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=/feed/the-most-popular/]

(Originally published: 13-12-15)

"Your Friendly Fascist, a Tyrant you can Trust"

Yes, I know, this bloke has been around for a while, but he reminds me of the late, great, Screaming Lord Sutch [just swap the gumboot for a top hat].
He's run for President before, but Vermin Supreme has just registered for the bell-weather 2016 New Hampshire primary with his principal policies a pony in every American backyard and free dental care.
His campaign slogan is "Your Friendly Fascist, a Tyrant you can Trust". Why can't Australia produce politicians like them?

(Originally published: 28-11-15)

"fuck them, we have Champagne"

Nice one from good ol' Charlie this week...FUCK THEM, WE HAVE CHAMPAGNE!

(originally published: 18-11-15)